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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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matthewmatters Offline
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dispute with friend - September 23rd 2017, 01:24 PM

so, i have this friend who i last hung out with in mid june time.. and i got her husband to take a pic of us and later on i got a text that only said "leave me alone" and nothing else but eventually i did get a full explanation message. So as it goes...
the initital "leave me alone" message was in late june
the full explanation message was in early august
and as of today, she has seen me again and said "go away" i really dont know what to do. its never going to be my first thought with anyone to take them on judge rinder or the jeremy kyle show to resolve our problems (although there must be a reason why increasing number of people do go onto those shows)
she feels like the pic i got of me and her was forced and awkward.. and also that i didnt remind her we were meeting on that day. i have told her that it doesnt matter about photos and i wont ask for any more and that i promise to remind her before we meet up next time. im not sure how much messages on facebook/texts she has read from me so i dont know what she knows including about me now living in same area as her
   
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Re: dispute with friend - October 1st 2017, 01:39 PM

Apologies for the late reply! I've been pretty sick for the past week and I haven't been on the site too much.

It is unfortunate that your friend seems to feel overwhelmed, but perhaps it would help if you gave her time to herself for a while since she's asked to be left alone. It can be difficult when someone asks that, but sometimes it makes a difference and kind of allows everyone to think things over and process things.

Maybe after a little bit of time, you could text her and ask her if she'd be comfortable talking about how you both feel about this so everything is out in the open. You could talk in a public place, such as a park or over lunch somewhere if you'd be more comfortable doing that. Getting your feelings out in the open can give you each time to discuss them and see if you can come to a solution.


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Re: dispute with friend - October 5th 2017, 06:00 AM

Leave me alone isn't the same thing as never talk to me again. We say things like that to people a lot, but are happy to talk to them days or weeks later
but i get if she hasn't had enough time, i will happily wait until the new year
   
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Re: dispute with friend - October 6th 2017, 12:12 PM

You're right, they certainly aren't the same things. Sometimes people say things they do not mean when they are angry and they end up happy to talk to someone when they're ready.

Something you can do if you're comfortable with it is talk to her and let her know you'd like to give her some time, but you want to know how much time would be beneficial to her. She'll probably have a better idea of how much time she needs or if there's anything else she needs.

Remember to take care of yourself too as a dispute with a friend can be difficult.


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The mountains are calling and I must go.
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-Lao Tzu
Memories made in the mountains stay in our hearts forever
Move the body, quiet the mind
   
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