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Darac Offline
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Mom - October 12th 2017, 09:33 PM

So, first off, i'm 16 nd i have no brothers/sisters. I go to grammar school which is in my country basically preparation for college. Right now i'm in second grade and school's nit the problem at all (i've got god grades). It was all grrat untill the start od the second grade. That's whenI intentionally told my mom that i smoke cannabis (which i've been smoking for about 1 year now). I know, the generalisation with cannabis is that it's bad and my mom thinks that it is 100℅ (seriously she doesn't se any other outcome) gonna ruin my life. And before you start saying she's your mom, she is worried for you, i know and i've argued ALOT with her lately because of that. I've told her sunce when i started consuming cannabis (sunce the start of the 1st grade) and that it didn't impact my productivity at all. She always says that I will ruin my education because of it (she thinks I will get into drugs). Spoiler alert: i could've tried basically anything i wanted from drugs but i always said no (i told her that). I know my priorities and what's the boundary which o shouldn't cross.
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Re: Mom - October 12th 2017, 09:56 PM

It does sound like you have a control on this and aren't going to let it get out of control. I have heard as I have never smoked it before but have heard that cigarettes are actually worse for your health than pot. I am not ever going to do it because I have been at parties where people have been smoking it and just the strong smell of it gives me a headache so I don't want any part of it. I think if you do it recreationally and don't let it interfere with your studies which it seems like it isn't and you don't drive right after using it or anything like that than your Mom should let her concerns be.

Now that being said if you are still a kid and under 18 and the laws in your area still say Cannabis is illegal that is a whole different matter. If you get caught with it than you are taking that chance of getting arrested and then yes you Mom has every right to be worried on that aspect. Since I don't know your age or what the laws are in your area I can't really comment much more on that.

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Re: Mom - October 13th 2017, 02:26 AM

Hello and welcome to teenhelp, we are glad that you have joined
I am sorry that you are going through a lot right now. You said that school is not the problem and I am glad to hear that. You said that you have been smoking for a year. And you told you're mom about this and now the both of you have and fighting a lot and she thinks that you may do drugs. When parents find out about something that the kids are teenagers are doing they end up being very angry no matter what the situation is, because they want to do the best they can to protect the children and teenagers. And yes even parents forget how the stay calm and just try to talk out what the problem is. You can just smoke cigarettes and that's it and never have a problem with any kind of drugs. And some people, will start off smoking cigarettes and then end up doing drugs. I do understand why you're mom was upset but this.

With smoking cigarettes all the time you can cause yourself lung problems and diseases. And sometimes it's really hard to get rid of them. I just wanted to let you know that. Can you try and talk calmly with you're mom about this when she is in a good mood? Or you can write her a letter about why you do this? And at the end of this you can say that you would like to talk calmly about this together. I hope that you will be ok. And please keep posting when you need to. Hugs.
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del677 Offline
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Re: Mom - October 13th 2017, 08:29 AM

Mom needs to go to an Al-Anon group, or something similar.

They teach parents there over and over, week after week, you can't control your kids, you can't make them stop using drugs, you can't solve their problems (if it's even a problem), you've got to "release with love", let them figure it out, guide them if they ask, otherwise "let go and let God".

(There's a bunch of short sayings like that.)

My definition of addiction is when a person decides they want to stop using/drinking/smoking/whatever, and then discovers they can not stop.

My (totally scientifically unsubstantiated) belief is, if a person can stop for a week and it's not a problem, then they aren't addicted.

On the other hand, if the person tries to stop for a week and discovers they literally can not stop, or it's very difficult for them, then they have a problem.

(The only problem with this test is, by the time one discovers they have a problem, they already have the problem! It's too late to say "Let's stop here before this becomes a problem.")

Sorry mom hasn't been taught how to deal with this.

(Maybe she could get some of that Nar-Anon literature. Or Families Anonymous is a similar group. The message is the same: Your son or daughter has a higher power, and you don't have to be it.)
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Re: Mom - October 13th 2017, 01:34 PM

I haven't completely read through the other replies so hopefully I do not sound repetitive.

You said your know your boundaries; you know what you can and cannot cross and it is very good that you know your limits and aren't willing to push yourself past them. You sound quite level-headed about this.

Do you think you can talk to your mom and let her know that you've had opportunities to try other drugs but you have not? You can tell her that you have limits and boundaries that you won't cross. That might help ease her mind a little bit.

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