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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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TH Anonymous Offline
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I feel like I can't trust a family member . . - December 8th 2017, 09:59 AM

[SIZE="a"]Hi everyone.

I basically live with other family members who are my guardians, but not my parents. And lately things have been okay in our family, but there's been something that I've been really wanting to talk about that I haven't a had chance yet to talk about one of them.

I know this is long, so feel free to skim through if you need too.

Guardian A.
--I feel like I can't trust them. For example, one time I got mad at them and they went to their parents to "complain about me" and purposely talked about me right in front of me as if I couldn't hear it. And those parents know I'm awkward around them because Guardian A and his parents are not blood related to me at all.

--They've called me names about me being skinny and even had the audacity to laugh after that. And when I got mad about it, they try playing innocent and acting like they never did that, or tries to smooth it out by saying "Oh no, I never meant that -- I just care for you". Which is ironic, because if they did, they wouldn't be calling me names or laughing.

--When I've done or made mistakes before in the past in public, Guardian A would laugh.

--When people in my family get mad, Guardian A accuses them of being "dramatic" but yet when he goes and talks crap about me behind my back, that isn't being dramatic? (Sorry for being a smart alack here, I"m just frustrated ..)

--I hate to say it like this, but there have been times in the past where I've seen "Lawyer" cars when relationships with Parent A and Parent B weren't good. One time Parent A started "hitting the door" And when he gets mad it's weird, I don't know how to describe it, because he starts ignoring people and usually he does't act like that.

--When I get mad I don't know he seriously wants to help or not, because "hel'll help" then he'll also help the other person I'm mad at .. and one time I saw that, and ever since that I've just been mad. Not the fact that he helped, it's a long story -- but it was something related to that.

In general I just don't feel like I can't trust them.

Sorry again if I seemed really bratty or anything like that, I'm sure I do .. I guess I just needed to vent.[/size]
   
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cynefin Offline
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Re: I feel like I can't trust a family member . . - December 8th 2017, 01:22 PM

You don't seem bratty at all. The way you're feeling is completely valid and hopefully talking about it helped. Sometimes talking can do a world of good. Given the way this person has treated you it makes sense that you don't trust them and you certainly aren't obligated to trust them if you don't feel comfortable.

Have you talked to your other guardian or anyone else about how you're feeling? Perhaps that could help. If you can't or don't want to talk to someone, consider journaling or blogging about your feelings so you don't have to keep them inside. It'll give you a healthy outlet for expressing yourself.


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