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sheila_shines Offline
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Help - December 14th 2017, 06:30 AM

I'm like left out in my family, my little sister is very smart and everyone compares us and says she's better even tho I get A's and B's. If I want to eat like yogurt my mom will say no that's not healthy. And I say ok. But if my sister wants to eat cookies or brownies, mom will say sure. And i know it's healthier for me, but still. Also when we moved into a new house, my sister got the huge room. And they put some nice stuff in. Not like a hot tub or anything like that, but a really soft bed, a nice vanity set, a bookshelf, and a new stuffed animal. And then I got the smallest room in the house. And then I got an old bed and a lumpy mattress. And also I always have to babysit her and our baby brother. And whenever she asks for a toy, she gets it and she is 9 btw and i don't get things much. Also, I have a small friends problem. My friend is acting weird. She is hanging out with this really mean girl and agreeing to everything she says, even if it is mean. I need help with both of these. Thanks.

Last edited by sheila_shines; December 15th 2017 at 06:59 AM.
   
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Chris Offline
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Re: Help - December 15th 2017, 06:56 PM

Hey there.

Throughout life, everyone will be compared to another person, judged by looks and actions, hated, loved, etc. But, I find from experience and life, that feeling these negative things from your own family (a group that you should be able to turn to), makes it hurt so much more. I can't tell you what you're mom is thinking, or why she says the things she does. I can't tell you why your friend is hanging out with a really mean girl. I can't tell you why you've been drawn the short end of a stick. We all at one point in our lives feel this way, and experience these things.

You have a choice; right now. That choice is to not accept the feeling you've been getting. Grades (while important) are not the end all be all. You don't need straight A's or B's. You simply just need to achieve that you find is satisfactory. Last year, I graduated college and I did it earning mostly C's. Not because I didn't care, or didn't have the motivation, but because I've dealt with learning disabilities my whole life and I just simply wanted to prove those who said "you'll never finish college" wrong. My point is, do what you want to do, to get to the goals you want to reach.

In terms of how others are talking to you (or comparing you), my advice is to approach your mom when she does this and tell her (in a respectful way) that it hurts your feelings when you're compared to your sister. Tell her that you're doing your best, and she makes it feel like your best isn't good enough (and it is). Have an open conversation with your mom. At the same time, when you hear comparisons, continue to tell yourself "I am ME", "I am good enough", and "I'm doing the best I can, and that's all that matters". Don't let others control how you feel or think about yourself. You are special and you are amazing.

Start fresh today - look at yourself and smile. You are YOU.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Help - December 16th 2017, 03:39 AM

Hi, thank you for your comment. I will try those things. Thank you for taking time out of your day to make mine better. I appreciate that.
   
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