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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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She hates him - February 13th 2018, 07:56 AM

Hi guys,

I'm not sure whether this should be in Friends and Family or in the Relationships section.

I've been with my partner for 7 months tomorrow, how time flies! But my mum has never liked him, in fact she despises him. I'm not sure if its the age gap as he is 16 years older but me and my daughter are happy with him. My dad was over the moon when he found out that I was finally dating someone decent.

Every time I mention my partner's name my mum doesn't even look at me or even respond. I don't know why she is being like this. I don't think she likes that fact that I am happy.

   
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Re: She hates him - February 13th 2018, 11:24 PM

It is awesome to hear that you are happy but it is unfortunate that your mom doesn't like your partner. Know that you can't control your mom's feelings and as long as you like your partner, that's what matters. Even if it's hard not to have your mom's approval.

We don't know your mother as well as you do but it is definitely possible that she consciously or subconsciously isn't glad you're happy. And, if that is the truth that is something within her and not you and it's unfortunate but there's not much you can do.

Do you think your mom would be receptive if you tried talking to her about your feelings? Maybe you can let her know that it hurts when she doesn't respond when you discuss your partner and you'd both benefit if she tried a little harder when necessary.

Best of luck to you.


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Re: She hates him - February 14th 2018, 02:33 AM

Hey there,

I am glad to hear that you have found someone you are happy with. I imagine it would be quite difficult to feel as though your mother does not approve. I am wondering if you could talk to your mom and ask her why she feels the way that she does about your partner. Try letting her know how you feel without making her feel attacked.

Best regards.


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Re: She hates him - February 15th 2018, 08:21 PM

I have spoken to her but she goes on like a child. We got engaged yesterday and she isn't happy about that either. I would understand if she was being protective, but every time I am happy and in a relationship she tries to ruin it, well this time I am not letting her. Me and my daughter are happy with him and my life is finally complete, she has just got to accept that I have finally found the right man for me
   
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Re: She hates him - February 15th 2018, 10:35 PM

If she does this every time you are in a relationship and isn't doesn't have a legitimate reason for disapproving than it is very likely an issue that she has. If that is the case you can't do much to change her mind. She has to be willing to acknowledge that she has this issue and she has to be willing to make the necessary changes. If she is unwilling to do so than it is unlikely that her behavior will change, unfortunately.

With that being said, there are a lot of people who have parents who disapprove of their spouses/partners. Some of these people end up going on to live happy and fulfilling lives with their partners. No one truly needs their families approval on who they date. It can be painful not to have but people learn how to adjust and there are times when the disapproving family learns to deal with it because they know that if they do not they will lose their family member.

Best regards.


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Re: She hates him - February 20th 2018, 02:52 PM

I don't think your mom is against your happiness. Unfortunately, the older generation is a bit prejudiced against age gap in relationships. I believe time will change your mother's attitude to your boyfriend. At least you dad support you and that's great!
   
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