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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Nothing I can do, but it still pisses me off. - April 23rd 2018, 06:36 PM

So to make a long story short I have this ex best friend, and I've been avoiding her ever since she told me she wasn't going to be my friend anymore. Well, I'm in my other best friend's wedding this next month, and the ex friend was invited. Now I find out she is not going to the wedding because she doesn't want to be around me, which normally isn't an issue, but I feel so bad for my best friend because she actually wanted her to be there. I know there isn't really anything I can do, but that doesn't make this any less frustrating.

I don't understand why things have to be so complicated and awkward. I've only been avoiding her because I'm trying to be respectful towards her. If I'm being honest, I'd rather just tell her to screw off and move on. Doesn't mean this whole situation makes me any less stressed out or angry. I honestly just don't want my Best friends wedding to be bad in anyway.

I just wanted to get this off my chest. Thanks.
   
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Re: Nothing I can do, but it still pisses me off. - April 24th 2018, 12:00 AM

Hello,

I hope that getting this off your chest helped. This sounds like a difficult situation to be in as it seems like all you want is for you friend to be happy but your ex friend is bringing these issues into play. It says a lot about you that you are willing to get past any issues so that your friend's wedding will be a happy event. You can't control how your ex friend reacts. If she cannot get past the falling out and is willing to miss her friend's wedding that is on her. I know it makes you feel bad but the best thing you can do is support your friend while she is going through the wedding. It can be hard when issues like this come up but the wedding can still be a really nice event. It might hurt your friend to not have that person there but at the end of the day she will be marrying someone that makes her happy and that will probably take precedent over this.

Best regards.


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Re: Nothing I can do, but it still pisses me off. - April 24th 2018, 07:48 AM

Social encounters with ex-friends can definitely be difficult situations to navigate. That being said, I hope you realize that you are not at all in the wrong here. It sounds like you are more than willing to do what needs to be done so your friend can have an enjoyable wedding surrounded by her friends without any tension, which speaks volumes about your maturity.

You mentioned that you don't like that things are complicated and awkward as a result of the two of you no longer being friends. Would it be possible for you to reach out to your ex-friend and let her know that you don't harbor any resentment, that your mutual friend would really like her to be there, and that your past issues won't cause any problems at the wedding? Perhaps having that reassurance that the two of you will be able to remain civilized and can be in the same space without necessarily having to talk to her will encourage her to come. If you don't feel comfortable doing this or it doesn't work, don't stress about it. At the end of the day, your ex-friends decision to come or skip the wedding is entirely on her.


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