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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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TraitorBaby Offline
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abusive households - May 3rd 2018, 10:33 PM

I need a way out, but i have none, and im not sure how to cope at the moment. Please help me.
My mom is manipulative and vindictive. She lies, coerces, sometimes even blackmailes me into doing what She wants. Slowly but surely, she does and says things so that I behave and think and feel the way she wants me to, while acting all innocent on the outside. Her specialty is gas lighting, to make me think that I'm crazy so that I don't question her behavior. If I falter in any way from what she wants, she gets nasty and calls me names until I go back.
My dad is worse though. At least with my mom I can handle it a little better, but my dad is violent and aggressive, and has unchecked anger that no one acknowledges. He hits me, my dogs, the walls, throws things, screams and yells, slams doors, anything to put his anger out on something else because he's too weak to deal with it himself. Every little thing I do is wrong, and the first first thing he does when he gets home is make sure that I know this.
Both of them leave me alone in the house most of the time without food or sanitary supplies. I can't rely on them for anything except their paycheck, which they occasionally spend on me for the things I need.
I know I don't deserve this, I know this is so wrong, but there's nothing I can do. I have no reliable family, the last of them left with the military and I can't go with them. I'm seriously considering putting in a police report, but I'm terrified of facing them, and even more terrified of it backlashing and things getting worse. The only one I have left is my service dog, a German shepherd, whose closer to me than any of my family, but he's sick. He has an autoimmune disease and can't get the legally required shots, so I'm scared that if I do try to move their going to take him away from me. And I refuse to leave him; we need eachother.
I know there's no way out right now, I have six months to two years before I can leave on my own, but I can't cope right now. Things are so hard, i can't bring myself to do homework, I'm too depressed to get out of bed. How can I when I'm so hungry? When my psyche is slowly deteriorating because my dog loves me more than my parents do?
Please help me. I'm slowly fading.
   
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Re: abusive households - May 4th 2018, 12:05 PM

The love of an animal is so amazing and it is very good you have that even if it hurts that he loves you more than your parents do.

This is understandably having a profound impact on you and even though it may be scary to face your parents, perhaps you can file a police report. Your safety and well being is what is important and your parents are hindering and abusing you and it's unacceptable.

I don't know too much about this but you may be able to take your dog somewhere to be cared for temporarily while you're getting on your feet. After that, he would be returned to you. Should you file a police report, express this concern to the police and see if they'll help you find a place for your dog.

If you ever want to talk to someone I am all ears.


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Re: abusive households - May 5th 2018, 02:28 AM

I want to be sure of this before I do anything. I cannot, will not leave him. He's all I have...
Does anyone have experience with this?
   
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Re: abusive households - May 5th 2018, 12:47 PM

Hello,

If you are going to file a police report there are few things you might want to do. Try and document as much of the abuse/neglect as you can. If you can take pictures of any bruises you might have etc. Documentation can help in situations like this. As for your dog, I am not 100% certain what would happen. If he is an actual service dog or emotional support animal it's possible they would let you keep him. For an animal to be an emotional support animal all you need is a letter from a doctor stating the animal is being used for emotional support. That's how it works in the USA, at least. That might be something to look into if you have the option to get to a doctor and if you see a doctor who is open to writing you something like that.

I know this might not be the best answer but I wanted to provide you with an avenue to look in order to try and keep your dog.

Best regards.


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Re: abusive households - May 5th 2018, 01:02 PM

Yes he already is an emotional support dog, but if I end up in a shelter or something would they let me keep him?
   
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Re: abusive households - May 5th 2018, 01:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TraitorBaby View Post
Yes he already is an emotional support dog, but if I end up in a shelter or something would they let me keep him?

They should. I know there are differences between emotional support animals and service dogs. I know that service dogs have the right to be in restaurants whereas emotional support animals do not. However, my understanding is that with living situations emotional support animals have to be accommodated.


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Re: abusive households - May 5th 2018, 10:52 PM

Thank you. This really helps.
   
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