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TH Anonymous Offline
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my mom likes to embarrass me - May 8th 2018, 12:04 AM

[SIZE="a"]i have had colon problems since i was in middle school

i've had to have tumors removed from my stomach and intenstines 2 times ( both times in different areas lol, that would have been so intense and painful to have operation done in two areas during a single time period!)

anyways, my mother would force me to remove my clothes and give me an enema

she would insert suppositories in me since i was young, still did it when i got older , around 11 years or so. but before that no matter how much i begged she would force me to lay on her lap while she gave me an enema or a suppostiry.

and what even MORE embarrassing than this (as if any of this could get more mortifying) is that she tells EVERYONE. Literally, my sister wasn't supposed to know about all these embarassing procedures i had to go through since i had stomach problems for a long time, but one day she asks me, "is it true you had to get a colonoscopy?" it was humiliating. my mom also told her friends about when i had to get a rectal procedure done while i was awake (it was very very humiliating and degrading, the nurse had to stick her fingers up my rear with gel on her finger to lubricate, then she stuck a tube up there to do the procedure). and my mom was in the same room !!!!!

and she told her friends, my grandparents, my aunts, uncles, siblings, EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!

Im so embarrassed please make me feel better

im 16 yr old female by the way[/size]
   
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Re: my mom likes to embarrass me - May 8th 2018, 03:22 AM

Hey there, I'm sorry you've been through all that, I can completely understand why you wouldn't want everyone (or anyone) to know. I could understand her forcing treatment on you when you were younger if a doctor said you needed it, but I don't think it's fair that she tells people without your permission. What I would do is try to explain to her that you don't want everyone to know about your health issues. You find it embarrassing and feel that it's not really their business. Aside from someone who needs to know, you'd like more privacy.

You might also want to tell her what you would be comfortable with her sharing and with who. If you have a history of medical issues, it's possible that people ask her because they care about you and want to know that you're okay. But she can let them know how you're doing without telling them everything.


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Re: my mom likes to embarrass me - May 8th 2018, 11:50 PM

Hello,

It seems as though you've talked to your mom a bit about your concerns but I am wondering if you've told her how it makes you feel? I know talking about feelings might be hard but it sounds like your mom doesn't understand the impact her actions are having on you. I think that it is really important for you to discuss with her how you dislike her telling people these personal things. I know that some parents do tell their friends or family things about their kids and while I do not agree with it I think that they don't realize the impact it has on their children. It is possible that if you talk to her about how this all makes you feel she might stop.

I know some of the things your mom does such as give you an enema are really embarrassing however if they are medically necessary things maybe the two of you can come up with ways to make those things less embarrassing. I know it sucks but sometimes medical issues are embarrassing but there can be ways to make the embarrassment less intense. I am not sure what that would entail for you but it might be a discussion that you could have.

Wishing you the best and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: my mom likes to embarrass me - May 19th 2018, 07:54 PM

[SIZE="a"]i am very sorry ur going thru this. this is just disgusting, its not like it was your fault you had to go thru those procedres (its not like you chose to have ur illnesses, anyway), yet ur family acts like you have no right to privacy and exposes you for every little thing! i am so so sorry, i know it must feel so humililating and degrading. next time this happens, since it looks like no one will listen when you say to keep it private, say "If this happens again, I will expose your presonal stuff, too. I have a right to privacy and you keep embarrassing me like this. Now you will know what it feels like".

the threat of getting an individual's secrets and personal life out should help keep a person quiet.[/size]
   
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