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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Jess~ Offline
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Unhappy going back to prom?! - May 8th 2018, 03:38 AM

hi everyone, so i'm freaking out right now. last month an online friend of mine jokingly asked me to go to his prom (he's obviously a senior in high school and i'm a college freshman), so i jokingly said yes. but somehow it became not so much of a joke anymore, when he turned down the classmates who wanted to go with him so he could go with me, and now i feel like i'm obligated to go since i didn't let him know i wasn't 100% planning on it in the first place. especially since he already told his parents i'm going with him and his mom has agreed to pay for half of my ticket, and supposedly she's buying me accessories to match with him too??

my high school prom was a complete joke, i didn't have a date, my friends were boring and didn't want to step foot on the dance floor, and i basically just sat around and ate cookies while i listened to my friend rant about how she wanted a boyfriend. it was pretty lame.
so don't get me wrong, the idea of going back and re-doing it with someone who i'll hopefully have more fun with AND going back with a date for once.
i do want to go, but my anxiety is getting the better of me now and i'm worrying about everything. this stupid flight response is kicking in really badly and i'm two seconds away from calling the entire thing off.

he lives in a huge city an hour away, so the drive is terrifying to me because i've never driven that far or long before. i was thinking of getting an uber but it would be $120 at the lowest rates to get there and back. definitely can't do that.

another big thing that's terrifying me is the fact that my parents have always been extremely apprehensive about the idea of even TALKING to people online... let alone, meeting them up. i'm not worried at all about my safety with him. i have known him for four years now. we've video chatted, he's shown me school ID's, yearbook photos, and he is obviously just a normal high school senior. there are absolutely no red flags about him being a catfish pedophile.
but there's no way i can tell my parents i'm going to prom with this guy who i've never met. they generally know who all of my friends are, so i can't just make up a friend and say i'm going to their prom. i've been trying to dig up old friends who are younger than me and make backstories for why i'm suddenly going to their prom even though i never talk about them.
but i'm so fucking tired of always lying to my parents. i am a full grown adult and should be able to say that i have an online friend and i'm going to be his prom date. there really isn't much wrong with that, is there?

i need to tell my parents something to explain why i'm in my old prom dress and will be working on my hair and makeup all day. but if i do tell them they will freak out. my mom will probably get sad because she'll be anxious and worried about me, and my dad will make passive aggressive comments because i'm going to go see a boy, god forbid.

what should i do?

(also is it weird to go back to prom when i'm in college? will it still be fun for me? i think it'll be a cool experience. but i told my friend and she got really judgmental and kind of laughed at the fact that i'm going back to a high school scene. i want to be able to post it on my social media without shame.)


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Re: going back to prom?! - May 9th 2018, 09:46 PM

It's not weird to go back to prom when you're in college. You said you think it would be a cool experience and as long as you're okay with it, that's what matters. What your friend or what people on your social media think doesn't matter. And, if there is shame, that says more about the people on your social media than it ever will about you.

There isn't anything wrong with going out with an online friend especially since you have known him for a while and feel comfortable around him, but it may be difficult to explain things to your parents. Like you said, though, you are an adult now and you deserve to go for it if that is what you want to do.

As for the drive, could you try it one day when you don't actually have to be there, just to give it a shot? You could do the whole drive or half the drive to dip your toes in the water and see how you feel about it.


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