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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Question Getting put down - June 1st 2018, 02:34 AM

My guy friend always comments about my appearance and it honestly is so annoying and frustrating. He tells me my hair is too thin, that I'm fat (I know I'm not fat, people tell me I'm skinny all the time...), that my forehead is too big. He compares me to incredibly ugly people online and says I look just like them, and it wasn't as a joke.
Whenever I don't talk to him he asks me if I'm on my period... He even said that loudly in a quiet classroom so everybody could hear.

I may not be the best looking in my class but that doesn't mean you can put it out there so bluntly... It's rude and hurtful.

He is fun to hang out with and we have become sorta good friends since we met less than a year ago. But these comments are so hurtful. A friend of mine used to be good friends with him, but cut him off because he kept making fun of her disabled brother.

I don't know what to do about this. He doesn't make these comments to any attractive people. I don't really want to talk about this with him because I might be viewed as over sensitive. Whenever he says these things I try to take it as a joke and laugh, but it actually hurts my feelings. How do I go about this?
   
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Re: Getting put down - June 1st 2018, 01:45 PM

You are right that the things your friend is saying to you is rude and hurtful. He shouldn't be comparing you to anyone, and though you have noticed he doesn't say these things to 'attractive' people, try not to take that personally. It says nothing about you or how you look, and instead says a lot about his personality!

It also sounds like while you can have fun when you hang out together, he does have a bit of a track record for making fun of others. It's understandable that you would try to laugh it off, but it's not fair that you have to put up with his behaviour when it actually hurts your feelings. I also understand that you wouldn't want to confront him about these comments for fear of coming off as 'over sensitive'....but you aren't. His comments are rude and it hurts you. Maybe you could try approaching him and letting him know that while it may seem like a joke to him, and you try to laugh it off, that it actually upsets you and you would appreciate it if he didn't say these things, and see what he says? If he says that you are over sensitive, then you might want to rethink your friendship with him as saying you are over sensitive is just a way of avoiding responsibility for his actions and how they hurt you.

It can also help to spend time with others that make you feel good about yourself too


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