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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Jealous of my friend - June 4th 2018, 02:50 PM

Is it wrong to be jealous of my best friend?

I care about him a lot and as much as he hates me saying it but I love him to bits. His life is far from perfect though but I am so jealous of him. He has this beautiful girlfriend who's just so beautiful. He earns pretty good money I wouldn't say his job is a great job but he does pot holes on the road and does diversions on the road to make sure the traffic does not go down the road where they are working traffic during the night mostly. Those jobs tend to pay well he makes me money then me. He lives with his sister and his girlfriend he is planning on moving out and renting his own apartment soon.

Like I said his life is far far far from being perfect but it's better then mine maybe I am just ungrateful but I want some of the things he has and it upsets me how nothing ever goes my way now I just feel like a ungrateful cunt because I should be grateful about my own life but I hate it so much.

I recently lost my job no fault of my own I have got a new job start tomorrow but it's slightly less hours which means slightly less money not that slightly is gonna make a massive difference but it's just annoying.

I know I should be grateful that I am not in some war zone in Syria or something and that I live in a safe country but I am just not I am a terrible person.

Oh and he passed all his driving exams for first and the amount of effort I put in to mine I have been failing them for years on end I hate myself I am so unlucky in life nothing ever goes my way. I am now 21 22 in november and I have never had a happy point in my life and I fail to see why I should carry on sometimes life is clearly out to just piss me off and give me a hard time till I drop dead because I feel like life hates me and I will never amount to anything in life despite bug one of the nicest people around life still likes to give me lemons.

Last edited by bringmethehorizon♥; June 4th 2018 at 03:10 PM.
   
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Re: Jealous of my friend - June 6th 2018, 12:51 PM

Hey Justin,

An emotion is never 'wrong' to have. It's just an emotion that can tell you a lot about how you feel and think about yourself and the world around you.

Ideally, we would never feel any negative emotions towards friends, but life is never that simple. I think it's common to feel jealous of friends, though not many would want to admit it, so well done to you for recognizing and admitting how you feel!

Jealousy in particular says a lot more about us than the other person. It's not a nice feeling to have, but it can be useful. We can use jealousy to figure out what we feel we are missing in our lives and work towards to meeting our own needs so we don't get jealous of what others have.

It's good that you realise your friend's life isn't perfect as it can help to remember this when you start feeling jealous. And it doesn't mean you are ungrateful. But if you are worried about being ungrateful, then you can always make an effort to appreciate things. For example, before bed, reflect on the day you had and what you appreciated that day.

There's also no point in comparing situations. We all have struggles, some people will appear to be better or worse off than us, but we can't compare because everyone's lives are so different.

It seems like your jealousy stems from the fact that perhaps your see your friend as being more successful than you e.g. in a relationship, with a decent paid job, hoping to move out and has passed his driving test. Whereas you feel life has always been a struggle (not passing the driving test etc) and you haven't been happy. But that doesn't mean that you don't deserve happiness. Maybe you can focus on one area in your life that you would like to improve? Rather than trying to do everything all at once, just put time and effort into one area and see what happens. And if you struggle, maybe you can ask your friend for advice? It might help to lessen the jealousy if your friend can help you out in some way.

Hang in there


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