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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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TH Anonymous Offline
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Dad hates me - July 16th 2018, 08:26 PM

[SIZE="a"]I've never liked my family. My mum screams at everything i say, my little sister makes fun of me all the time. My dad is the worst part. He slaps me in the face a lot, doesn't really care if i get hurt,screams at me all the time. Yesterday he called me a f***** up little b****. I just cried for hours at those words. I knew he hated me, but not that much. It doesnt sound like much but he is very strict with theese word. He never used them before. I always wanted a dog. When i mention it to him he just starts screaming that im to stupid to take care of a dog and it would just end up in a shelter. We do have a very old dog but i dont like it. It is agressive and unsocial. I thought about running away since the age of 8. I also sometimes self harm myself (cutting, scratching). I dont really trust my parents and am ashamed to talk about it with my friends.
What should i do about my dad?[/size]
   
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Re: Dad hates me - July 16th 2018, 09:54 PM

Hello and thank you so much for telling us about this. And I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this right now and I hope that you will be okay soon.

You said that you're parents are always yelling, when this is happening can you try getting out of the house for a while so that you don't have to listen to what's going on. Can you try going to a friend's house and staying with them for a little bit until things calm down at home? Or can you try going for a walk for a little bit and you can have music with you and put on earbuds or headphones whatever you have and listen to music while you're walking and try and focus on that. Can you try talking with you're friends about what is going on and see if they or can you see if you're friend's parents can help you with what you're going through. If you are having a hard time you can always write a letter and put everything in it and then give it to them. I hope that you will be okay soon.


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Re: Dad hates me - July 17th 2018, 06:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by TH Anonymous View Post
[SIZE="a"]I've never liked my family. My mum screams at everything i say, my little sister makes fun of me all the time. My dad is the worst part. He slaps me in the face a lot, doesn't really care if i get hurt,screams at me all the time. Yesterday he called me a f***** up little b****. I just cried for hours at those words. I knew he hated me, but not that much. It doesnt sound like much but he is very strict with theese word. He never used them before. I always wanted a dog. When i mention it to him he just starts screaming that im to stupid to take care of a dog and it would just end up in a shelter. We do have a very old dog but i dont like it. It is agressive and unsocial. I thought about running away since the age of 8. I also sometimes self harm myself (cutting, scratching). I dont really trust my parents and am ashamed to talk about it with my friends.
What should i do about my dad?[/size]
How old are you my dear? Never self harm yourself. When you feel that your parents don't like you try to stay away from them. Then they will surely come to you after a few days. Get yourself engaged in any activities. That can remove all your unwanted thoughts.
   
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Re: Dad hates me - July 17th 2018, 03:43 PM

I'm sorry your dad treats you this way -- certainly screaming at you and telling you that you're too stupid to take care of a dog and it'll just end up in a shelter is an example of an unacceptable way to speak to your child. Let's say for arguments sake that you threw the first shot (e.g. he was angry cause he'd said no and you chose to argue with you), that still doesn't make it ok to scream at your child and tell them that they're too stupid (I'm not saying you did that at all, just that "even if" it's still not ok for him to lash out like that. As a parent, it's kind of his responsibility to take the high ground and, if your kid is being beligerant, tell them to cut the shit, but retaliating is a bad move. I'm not sure why your dad lashes out like this - maybe he has mental health issues that make it difficult to control his temper or maybe he's got bad time at work... maybe, if I don't give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he's just an asshole.

I totally understand why this constant treatment is harmful to you and why it's affecting your mental state and why you don't trust your parents. Aside from friends, can you tell anyone else? Maybe you have a pastor, a teacher, a guidance counsellor, etc whom you can reach out to? Maybe you can say you're going for coffee with a friend but you really go see a therapist? I'm assuming you're too young to live on your own so a therapist would be a great option because they can help you be safe until you can move out.
   
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Re: Dad hates me - July 17th 2018, 06:42 PM

Try and stay at a friends or something for a night or 2 till things calm down.And please please PLEASE don't hurt yourself it turns into a everyday thing trust me i'm trying to stop but it's hard,please just don't.
   
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Re: Dad hates me - August 16th 2018, 12:53 PM

Please don't do that!
   
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