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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bam-boozled Offline
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Name: Robin
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Angry I don't know what to do anymore. - May 28th 2009, 03:58 PM

This may get a little long, but I really need to tell someone.

For a little while, it's seemed like everyone is against my boyfriend and me. My parents have said so many things. Like how we'll never make it out on our own just because we're picky about certain foods we eat. Both my parents say we can't save money when my boyfriend has over 300 dollars in the bank to save up and buy a car. They and my sister all think my boyfriend is a bad influence on me, but I have no idea how they can see that because he's the only thing keeping me together because of them. And just today, my dad told me that people at work wonder what I see him. (He works with my dad.) Even my dad wonders what I see in him. And he also says that he's slow when he works and he isn't learning anything. The guy he works with is a bad teacher, too. And he did just started working there a little over a month ago, he still has a lot to learn. And when he first started working, they all said he did pretty damn good for his first day. I don't get it.

But that's not all.
My dad alone is another problem I have, along with my mom.
My dad yells at me a lot and it really gets to me. He blames me for everything, he even blames my boyfriend for some stuff. He doesn't yell at my sister, though. Only me. He calls me names sometimes, and makes me feel like a bad person. It's just horrible.
My mom makes me do everything for her around the house when she's perfectly capable of doing most of those things herself. I do my share of chores, and she makes me do more. And what really bothers me is when she asks me to do something, she asks like "Would you mind doing it?" Like it's optional, when it isn't. Even when I'm busy doing something she makes me do something else. I didn't know being her daughter meant being her slave too.

When I type it out like this, is doesn't seem as bad as it really is but it is. It's absolutely horrible. They don't seem to stop saying stupid negative thigns about my boyfriend and me and my mom seems to never stop telling me to do everything. My dad is so full of himself, he has no idea what he's putting me through. And every time I try to tell him, he ends up just yelling at me even more. I'm sick of it. They have no idea how many times I've cried myself to sleep, and how my times I want to just break down and leave. It's always against ME. Always. They don't talk about my sister's boyfriend. He smokes, drinks, and used to do drugs. My boyfriend doesn't smoke at all, he hates cigarettes. He has drank only a few times, but has never done drugs. My parents send her money, they don't give me any. And she goes and spends every bit of it, and they say WE can't save money. It's like they love her more than me. Just because she started taking GED classes, they think she's got her head straight on her shoudlers and everything is just perfect for her. They're always talking about how proud they are of her. They think I'm the bad kid, when SHE went to jail for 13 days because of something stupid she did with a friend. They treat her extra special JUST because she's bipolar. I'm sick and tired of all this crap, it's driving me insane. This morning, after my dad told me he and the guys at work wonder what I see in my boyfriend, I went to my room and cried until I fell asleep. When I think of ways I could confront him, I choose not to because I know he'll just yell at me more and I'm afraid he'll hit me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to get away from them. I just hate going through the same stuff every single day. I hate it!

You only pass through this life once;
you don't come back for an encore.
- Elvis Presley
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Lorelei Offline
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore. - May 28th 2009, 09:25 PM

Hi Robin.

First off, even if you feel like a bad person sometimes, it doesn't mean you are. You might struggle a little bit, but overall it seems like you're just trying to start your life and there's nothing wrong with you. Your dad has no right to yell at you when you haven't done anything wrong, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that.

I'm sorry about how your mom treats you, and how your parents have been acting overall. I don't know both sides of the story, but from what I can piece together it seems like they just have the wrong impression about you and your boyfriend. This might not be true, but there is a chance they know something about him you don't. Have your parents stated any other reasons for not liking your boyfriend other than picky eating and money spending? They might (in their own messed-up way) be trying to look out for your best interests.

If you don't mind my asking, has your dad hit you in the past? If so, has it been reported to authorities? If he hits you, you are completely within your rights to call the police and report him.

You're dealing with a lot right now. It's okay to rant. Just take care of yourself and do what's best for you.

"How dare I? Because it is the truth." -Jane Eyre

"You do what you love, and f#%* the rest." -Little Miss Sunshine
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
bam-boozled Offline
That hippie girl.
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Re: I don't know what to do anymore. - May 28th 2009, 10:47 PM

He hasn't violently hit me, but he has spanked me when I was little. I got in trouble a lot when I was younger, for silly reasons. Like borrowing a pair of my friends boots without telling them about it. I was called two-face because of that. :/

And we don't spend too much money. Not at all. We try our hardest to save as much money as we can because we both want to move out as soon as we can.
They just think we can't do that and we're irresponsible.
I just don't understand why they both are acting the way they do against us. It's so stupid.

And also, I forgot to mention, they both don't like his dad.
His dad has treated him wrong ever since he was a kid and they think he is a complete a**hole. My mom is always talking about how much she doesn't like him and how she never wants to be around him.

A lot of people seem to have the wrong impression about me and my boyfriend. It really bothers me, and him too. That's why we want to move out so soon. The only good thing there seems to be about my parents at this point is that they're allowing me to move out at 17, but only because they want and need to move out themselves. They've been having trouble with the house, and my mom has been seriously stressed out. My dad has been too, but even before this situation, they both still treated me and my boyfriend like this.

But um... my dad has playfully hit me, not to a violent extent though. I've had only a few bruises from him. But just that is still a scary thought. I'm afraid to talk to him about how I feel and about what he's putting me through.

Thank you so much for your advice.

You only pass through this life once;
you don't come back for an encore.
- Elvis Presley

Last edited by bam-boozled; May 28th 2009 at 11:11 PM. Reason: Multiple posts have been merged automatically.
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