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-   -   Had to say goodbye for good (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f18-friends-family/t158307-had-say-goodbye-good/)

Effy2018 January 24th 2019 08:21 AM

Had to say goodbye for good
 
Well my parents ruined their second chance, didn't take them long to start accusing me of abusing my daughter again. I am so angry and upset right now, they will never change and now I see that. They will not be seeing me or my daughter again, not after everything they have caused. They seem to think that every time they do this that I am going to take them back with open arms, well not this time. They really have ruined it for themselves, I tried and time and time again to be civil with them for my daughter's sake but obviously it couldn't mean that much to them if they are just doing it all over again. I don't hate them, I could never hate them. I am just angry that they have blew their final chance. :'(

Saudade. February 6th 2019 06:54 PM

Re: Had to say goodbye for good
 
Hi Michaela, I am so sorry this has happened. I hope some day your parents will accept you for who you are and the way you are raising your daughter. For now, try not to let it get you down and take over your life or mental well-being. It's so important to focus on yourself and your daughter's needs. Don't worry about your parents. Your daughter takes greater priority.

If you ever need to reach out again, don't hesitate to do so.

Alternatively, you can use HelpLINK if you prefer not to use the public forums.

Best of luck. :hug:

Effy2018 February 7th 2019 09:21 AM

Re: Had to say goodbye for good
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Luminescence. (Post 1338293)
Hi Michaela, I am so sorry this has happened. I hope some day your parents will accept you for who you are and the way you are raising your daughter. For now, try not to let it get you down and take over your life or mental well-being. It's so important to focus on yourself and your daughter's needs. Don't worry about your parents. Your daughter takes greater priority.

If you ever need to reach out again, don't hesitate to do so.

Alternatively, you can use HelpLINK if you prefer not to use the public forums.

Best of luck. :hug:

Thank you, means a lot to me that you have replied back. My mental health has gone right downhill recently an I want to get help but the one person I want to tell, I'm terrified of what her reaction might be. :'(

cynefin February 8th 2019 01:19 AM

Re: Had to say goodbye for good
 
You're doing what is best for you and your daughter and even though it is difficult to do, it is definitely important to focus on yourself like it was said above.

Have you talked to this person about how you're feeling before? If it would help, you could write out your feelings and tell the person, or even practice saying them out loud to yourself so you can get used to saying it. Another thing you can try, is to slowly tell this person smaller things about how you're doing and work up to the larger things so it seems a little more comfortable.

TeenHelp is here for you. :hug:

~Radio Flyer~ February 17th 2019 04:07 PM

Re: Had to say goodbye for good
 
I am sorry you're going through this Michaela.
I remember you've posted a few times about your parents in the past and my heart goes 9ut to you and your daughter.

It is going to take time to heal and sometimes separation from them is the best option. It is terribly difficult and it is something I have to do for myself to. It is anguish and agony.

I also find having a support system who gets it can help. Not just any friends but maybe a group like Adult child anonymous. That is for adult children who grew up in dysfunctional homes. Or another group that you can talk to when things get hard or your parents bother you.

It is also important to learn to not keep "pitting out fires" This is what I was told for myself. Sometimes we unconsciously behave in a pattern that keeps a cycle going. It can be hard. My older sister "makes fires" and contacts me and then I "put out the fires" by answering her. I am learning to put boundaries.

MarryMarty February 21st 2019 01:36 PM

Re: Had to say goodbye for good
 
I wish i could say " This is your parients", but i agree with you


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