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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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asha,ed and confused on my feelings - August 28th 2019, 03:28 PM

I have no clue what to do and am looking for advice and validation I guess the people I usually talk to about this are really busy so here we go.
I feel really ashamed, confused and fucking pissed of about these feeling Iím having.
I have my half sister as a friend on my Facebook and all Iíve been seeing lately are all these post about how much she loves her dad, and how he loves her and all the attention he gives her. And I am so fucking jealous of this. How fucking sick am I that I am jealous of my little sister when he is the one that actually abused me and neglected me, never gave a damn or payed attention to me. I donít get why I am so jealous of this and I am ashamed and confused why I fee this way. How can I be jealous of something my abuser is giving Veronica and never have to me?

I hate him so much and want nothing to do with him I even ha e him blocked and hate the fact Meghan talk to him through FB and then I have to hear about it, and it pisses me off and makes me annoyed and sick that nobody gives a damn that I donít want to hear anything from him. I also cringe if I hear his voice which I have. So this just confused me more by the reaction I get when I hear about him then turn around and jealous.

I am so sorry this is damn long I didnít mean it to be. But I would really like some advice and the truth about how sick and shameful it is that I feel this way. So please if you have time can you leave me advice, the truth even if it hurts.


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Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
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Re: asha,ed and confused on my feelings - September 1st 2019, 07:26 PM

Hi Frankie,

No need to apologise for the length of your post. I'm sorry to hear that the people you usually talk to about this are busy but I hope we can give you some support and validation!

I understand that you feel ashamed but really everything you have said makes sense and I don't feel like you should be ashamed of yourself. It must be really hard for you to see how your half sister is close to her dad and all the attention that she gets when you were abused by him. I understand that you would feel jealous about this relationship when you have only received abuse and I understand that you would feel ashamed because of feeling jealous over your younger half sister's relationship with her dad- someone you hate. But your feelings are valid and your feelings do matter. It doesn't make you a bad person for feeling this way at all- your half sister is getting the love and affection from her dad that you didn't receive and worse you were abused by this person. You deserve love, affection and attention and you got the opposite so it makes sense to feel jealous, even though this person is your abuser. He should've given you what he is giving your half sister. It's understandable that seeing these facebook posts would've triggered a lot of strong and complicated feelings.

It's bound to be really confusing for you when you hate him so much but it's good that you have blocked him and try not to get involved when others talk to him. You could also try unfollowing your half sister so that you don't have to see her posts either.

Hope you are okay and that you can take some comfort that you are not sick and have nothing to be ashamed of for feeling this way


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