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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Cobalt Offline
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Antisocial (?) Friend - January 5th 2009, 09:39 PM

Sorry to jump into things so quickly, but I've been waiting a quite a while to ask this about my friend.. I know I won't get a response immediately, but I am willing to wait.

Here goes:

Last week, I noticed that my friend seemed to try to avoid me, so I confronted him about it, and he explained to me that he was extremely antisocial and did not want any "great" friends, just people that have similar interests as him. I'm not sure if he was exaggerating or misused antisocial, but from what I've researched on the internet, being antisocial means a dislike for people and lack of emotion and sympathy. I'm really worried about him, but sometimes I actually feel like I am being manipulated and lied to. He also has been working out a lot, and is also showing signs of narcissism because he seems to talk about his muscles quite a bit.. And usually people don't go out of their way to flatter themselves that much.

I'm really worried, because before this schoolyear started, my friend used to be a different person, or maybe I just did not get to know him well enough for him to show his true colors. I really don't know.

He does not seem like a shy person, and I always see him talking to somebody while he is walking through the hallways at my school.

Should I keep trying to be friends with him, knowing that he might manipulate and lie to me? And in the end he doesn't want to be friends after all?

Or am I just overanalyzing things and he did not mean that he was anti social, and he is just introverted and likes to spend his time alone?

It also might be because we are just Juniors in high school and all teenagers are melodramatic? Including me?

If anyone has experience with this kind of stuff, it would be awesome if you could help!

If you need more info., feel free to ask.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DemonQueen Offline
amber_teh_shark since 2004
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January 5th 2009, 09:57 PM

I think you might be looking into this a bit too much. Maybe right now he's at the point where he doesn't think he can trust many people so he spends his time alone getting all toned up. I don't think anything is necessarily wrong with that but if he's being too anti-social then it could turn into a problem. I'd just shrug it off for now but continue trying to talk to him. See if he'd like to hang out or something like that.

I mean tons of people go through changes over a short period of time. I used to be extremely shy and now after the summer I'm completely outgoing. So maybe he just found that occupying himself and keeping himself amused was working for him? Just be there for him and let him know that he's still got someone he can turn to. Sometimes that's just all a person needs to know in order to go back.

I've been through hell and back and came out stronger than ever.
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Lee Offline
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January 5th 2009, 11:40 PM

I'd say it is definitely a misuse of the world anti social. I think what they were just trying to say is that they don't like to hang out with people who aren't close to them - maybe it's just something they're not comfortable.

I'd keep him as a friend. Who knows, he may want to have great friends some day, and if he's a nice enough guy anyway, and if you have similar interests, there shouldn't really be any problem.
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primus diddy Offline
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January 6th 2009, 12:02 AM

I guess I'm going to echo the two previous responses. It really doesn't sound like a big deal to me. Sometimes people just want to hold up in their rooms in their free time. Talking to people at school and whatnot is different because that's kind of what you have to do. Once school is over it might just be time for rest. Who know? Maybe in a couple weeks he'll be the same person you remember?

No reason to lose him as a friend.
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