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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LiveLaughLove Offline
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Name: Simone
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Bit of a rant, really >.< - June 1st 2009, 03:39 AM

Ok so basically, its been bothering me since Fiday...
I came home from school, and my mom's bf was there. I didn't know he had a key...? But anyway, he was there. I had signed up for time in one of the studio rooms, so I got changed and was ready to go, but when I get downstairs, he's made me a plate of this beef stuff... which I don't eat. So I'm like, "Aw thanks, that was really sweet. But I've really gotta run..."
But he insists upon me eating it, and kindof forces me into the chair, so I tell him that I've signed up for studio time with Jared (my dance partner) and that I really should go so I'm not late... and that it looks delicious, but I don't eat beef. Then he's all, "Well if you don't eat beef, how does it look delicious"... and well it doesn't, it looks like dead cow, but I was trying to be polite. So I tell him it looks well prepared, but that I need to leave now. But he blocks the door, and then he asks me to help him with his laundry...??? It was just really wierd, and I was getting creeped out, and I was getting a really bad vibe, which I've gotten from him before, but its always been just a mild, disquieting feeling. So I say "Hold on" and run upstairs, to call my mom.

I was telling her about how he wouldn't let me leave, and that he was being a creep, but he freaking picks up the other phone and interrupts me, insisting that I'm a liar and just joking and all this crap. So I hang up, grab my bag, and am planning to just slip out, but I guess he hung up too, because he grabs me at the door??? I kept asking him to let go, and he kept grabbing tighter, and my arm was hurting and straining, and I told him that he had a few seconds...

He didn't let go, so I twisted out and backfisted him in the face it was awful, because I've never hit anyone before outside of class... and even there, you're not really hitting anyone. So I feel like an awful person, and I hadn't meant to actually do the punching part... but he's caught me in a position we learn in Kung Fu, so I just did what we were taught... the backfisting thing is a followthrough, part of what we practice... I guess I just defaulted? Anyway, I ran to the studio, and I was late... then when I caught my breath (it really isn't a far run) I went up to the room I'd signed us up for, and Jared (my dance partner) was already there. I'm like, "Hey," and he's all, "You're trembling..." and I started crying, which was incredibly embarassing... we didn't even end up dancing. We got milkshakes, and I cried the whole damn time, and I really like Jared we're going to his prom together, and I'm ot sure if its a date, and now I'm thinking he'll think I'm dramatic and not want to be with me or something, which is stupid since I've been his partner for like six years and he knows me really well... but I'm being all lame and insecure and can't seem to help it. He was so mad, too... and I was telling him how awful I was for hitting Donald, and he said that I'd better be kidding, and that he hopes he doesn't see him around or something... I don't know. But now I don't want to go anywhere after school, because I don't want Donald near my sister or brother alone, because he's beig a creep... and my mom is mad at me for the whole thing... she says I'm being silly... she thinks she needs Donald, and he's just this strange man from a rez which is probably the only reason she likes him. And its not like she can go find some other guy from a rez around here, so she's all stuck on him and she's had this theory ever since she and my dad split, that the only good guys are guys from a rez?? She's all particular about the guys she dates for all the wrong reasons... I don't know what to do :/


PM anytime (: ................ ☮ ♥ ♪ ♫ la la di da : )
i am beautiful because that's how i see myself.
talented, because i have confidence in what i do.
scarred because at times, i couldn't take it.
strong, because one day, i chose to be.
loveable because i've learned to love myself.
and also because, same as everyone else,
i was born that way.

Last edited by LiveLaughLove; June 1st 2009 at 03:46 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bit of a rant, really >.< - June 1st 2009, 07:39 AM

This guy does sound dodgy. I would take your mum aside and tell her about all this.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
LiveLaughLove Offline
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Re: Bit of a rant, really >.< - June 2nd 2009, 06:23 AM

I did, when I called her...
But when she got home, I think told me that it wasn't the place of a child, to deny an adult or something...nor a woman, to deny a man??? some old saying, I'm not totally sure if thats really the jist of it. It was so unlike her...
My uncle lives the next state up, though, and its not far... maybe twenty minutes.
He'd come and stay for a while, if we asked... he's got a room here.
&& my newly traditional mother couldn't deny him, so, I guess it all works out.

I'm not sure if Donald's a total creep, though. At first I thought he would try and do something to me, which is why I was so freaked ~ I was thinking of the stuff my dad did. But now, I don't think it was like that at all... I mean, I never got a good vibe from him, but I never got the feeling he was dangerous, either. Looking back on what happened, makes me think it was more of a power thing... kind of just being a bully.

[: thanks for your time... I know it was a lot of text.


PM anytime (: ................ ☮ ♥ ♪ ♫ la la di da : )
i am beautiful because that's how i see myself.
talented, because i have confidence in what i do.
scarred because at times, i couldn't take it.
strong, because one day, i chose to be.
loveable because i've learned to love myself.
and also because, same as everyone else,
i was born that way.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bit of a rant, really >.< - June 2nd 2009, 10:58 PM

Hi Simone,

I want to give you a thumbs up and an internet high five for using your self defense and getting yourself out of that situation! You did an awesome job taking care of yourself, and you deserve to know that you did the right thing! Don't you dare feel bad for taking care of yourself You are your top priority, and that's how it should be!

If you ever-ever- feel that you are in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation (like this one where he wouldn't allow you to leave the house), then do whatever you can to get out. Calling your mom was a good idea, but I would also suggest running to the nearest door, and calling 911. Be loud and be careful. Do whatever you can to keep yourself safe from harm. I'm not joking here- scream if you have to. The louder you are, the less likely he will be of doing anything. I would suggest that you give this advice to your siblings as well (and maybe teach them some kung fu!)

And you know what? Your partner cares about you. There is nothing wrong with being upset when someone has tried to hurt you. That is not being dramatic! Don't for a second believe that your partner will think any different of you after an event like this. He cares about you, and that wont change. I'm glad you were able to talk with him about this. It is important that other people know. Maybe you could even get him to pick you up for dance practice next time.

Even if this guy was being a bully, that doesn't stop what he did from being wrong. Take it upon yourself to do what's right and take care of yourself. Tell your mom that if this happens again you will phone the police. She may be more willing to do something if she understands that this is a serious matter.

Take care, and stay safe.

Nat.


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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Bit of a rant, really >.< - June 3rd 2009, 02:45 AM

Thanks (: That was really nice of you.
I told my sister&brother to avoid being alone with him,
and explained...
Jared said he'd pick me up after school to take me home to change, and then that he'd take me to the studio and back... but we don't go to the same schools, and I said I was fine with the bus or walking... he's still taking me to & from the studio, though [:

Thankyou, I really appreciate all your advice

Peace&Love.


PM anytime (: ................ ☮ ♥ ♪ ♫ la la di da : )
i am beautiful because that's how i see myself.
talented, because i have confidence in what i do.
scarred because at times, i couldn't take it.
strong, because one day, i chose to be.
loveable because i've learned to love myself.
and also because, same as everyone else,
i was born that way.
   
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