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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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My sister's condition - March 8th 2021, 01:23 PM

Julie, one of my older twin sisters will be discharged from hospital in a few days after her medical team have fully diagnosed her condition. I visited her today and was pleased to see her happier than last night when she was feeling poorly.

The doctors have switched her meds, having decided what seems to be the best course of action. But they asked if I would consider being Julie's care giver. Of course I will, I said. Being her helper would take pressure off her other twin and anyway, I used to be care giver to my mum before her health went south. So I know what will be asked of me.

Weekdays I'm usually in bed by 8pm, 9pm latest and next morning up early at 6am,. giving me a sound 10 hours sleep. Weekends I go to bed a bit later, all depending whether we've a good movie to watch, usually a Disney. I can't stand violent movies. OK for some, but not for me.

Julie is pleased I'm going to be her care giver. Once she's due to be discharged I'll be at the hospital to learn when to give Julie's medicines. Of course, her older twin will oversee all that, really to keep check on me.

I looked after our mum when she was home in Lucerne. So I am quite used to any 'mum difficulties', so Julie should be no different.

At some time, her doctors are not sure when, Julie may need a heart operation. Presently that is undecided. But I'm very relieved and happy seeing Julie's medical condition is vastly improved.

Any changes in the future, and I'll be back here to share what I can.

Now it's back to my online school work, so I'll be back much later.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My sister's condition - March 8th 2021, 05:05 PM

I'm glad to hear your sister's health is improving. I imagine she and Wendi are too. I expect you're all very relieved.

I hope that you'll be ok looking after your older sister. If I may suggest, see if you can look into someone who may be able to do it full-time. As much as you've mentioned you had to take care of your mum in the past, everybody's needs are different and you are very young. Your sister may need more care than you realise. Not forgetting you still have an education to contend with.

I understand you may feel like you're going to be able to balance everything out and manage your time effectively between school work, and looking after your sister, but having an adult carer besides your sister and yourself wouldn't go amiss. Even if it's just for a few hours a day whilst Wendi studies for her degree and/or works, and you do school work.


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Re: My sister's condition - March 8th 2021, 06:43 PM

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Originally Posted by Rivière View Post
I'm glad to hear your sister's health is improving. I imagine she and Wendi are too. I expect you're all very relieved.

I hope that you'll be ok looking after your older sister. If I may suggest, see if you can look into someone who may be able to do it full-time. As much as you've mentioned you had to take care of your mum in the past, everybody's needs are different and you are very young. Your sister may need more care than you realise. Not forgetting you still have an education to contend with.

I understand you may feel like you're going to be able to balance everything out and manage your time effectively between school work, and looking after your sister, but having an adult carer besides your sister and yourself wouldn't go amiss. Even if it's just for a few hours a day whilst Wendi studies for her degree and/or works, and you do school work.
That's a very good idea getting a full time carer for Julie. Today she was supposed to be starting her new job. With me back at school next week, I've been worrying how Julie will manage without me. So I've just written a note and slid it under Wendi's bedroom door. I marked it VERY IMPORTANT! And now I need to go back to bed.

I saw your message after private messaging you earlier (sorry I haven't time to reply to your next one), but left it. But it gnawed on my mind. When things gnaw, I can't sleep. I'll be all right now.

I think your suggestions are GR8! Thank you lots!

Chat tomorrow

Tommy.


PS. Take it as promised I WILL be looking after Julie!
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: My sister's condition - March 8th 2021, 09:02 PM

I'm glad Julie is starting to improve. It sounds like a scary thing to have to go through for all of you, so this is really good news. The news about her needing a carer sounds like a lot of work and she's definitely very lucky to have you offering to help so much. I agree that a bit of outside help might be useful too so that you're not spreading yourself too thin though. Everyone needs a bit of time for themselves too.

If there's ever anything you want to talk about you're always welcome to reach out to me



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Re: My sister's condition - March 9th 2021, 08:16 AM

Glad to hear your sister is getting better.


   
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Re: My sister's condition - March 9th 2021, 06:07 PM

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Originally Posted by Everglow. View Post
I'm glad Julie is starting to improve. It sounds like a scary thing to have to go through for all of you, so this is really good news. The news about her needing a carer sounds like a lot of work and she's definitely very lucky to have you offering to help so much. I agree that a bit of outside help might be useful too so that you're not spreading yourself too thin though. Everyone needs a bit of time for themselves too.

If there's ever anything you want to talk about you're always welcome to reach out to me

Thank you Hollie for your good advice. Having seen Julie this afternoon, she has been promised a full time carer. This will, as you suggested, help keep me from spreading myself too thin.


I've always feared taking on too much, so this carer-to-be will even prepare food for Julie because I'll still be at school. It would save me cycling there and back, at least.


Unless there are unforeseen circumstances, my sister's discharge day will be Saturday around midday.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dusk. View Post
Glad to hear your sister is getting better.

Oh she is! Julie is looking and sounding much better!


Thank you, and thank you, Hollie
   
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Re: My sister's condition - March 10th 2021, 09:29 AM

I'm so glad Julie is feeling better. I'm concerned that as a 13 year old you're being put as Julie's carer. That to me sounds unsettling. Wendi told us you're 13 years old. You are still a child. I'm confused as to why this is such a good idea. Wendi had been Julie's caregiver in the past and I didn't quite understand why. I mean I understand your parents are not around but it sounds like she needs a professional aide as a carer and for you to simply be her younger sister aka being yourself without any burden should be all that is asked of you.


I apologize if this is offensive in any way. I just been parentified way too much to not feel unsettled by this. I was put in charge to raise my siblings when I my self was 6 years old which was highly traumatic for me. While this is my personal experience, I know the research on child development. In addition, it would be one thing to help out as a sister or to keep her company but being put as a caregiver is an entirely different task.


Wishing you all the best.
   
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Re: My sister's condition - March 10th 2021, 12:18 PM

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Originally Posted by ~Radio Flyer~ View Post
I'm so glad Julie is feeling better. I'm concerned that as a 13 year old you're being put as Julie's carer. That to me sounds unsettling. Wendi told us you're 13 years old. You are still a child. I'm confused as to why this is such a good idea. Wendi had been Julie's caregiver in the past and I didn't quite understand why. I mean I understand your parents are not around but it sounds like she needs a professional aide as a carer and for you to simply be her younger sister aka being yourself without any burden should be all that is asked of you.


I apologize if this is offensive in any way. I just been parentified way too much to not feel unsettled by this. I was put in charge to raise my siblings when I my self was 6 years old which was highly traumatic for me. While this is my personal experience, I know the research on child development. In addition, it would be one thing to help out as a sister or to keep her company but being put as a caregiver is an entirely different task.


Wishing you all the best.

Hi Violet


It would take a lot for me to be offended so no worries. And in part I understand your concerns regarding your parents at one time, but I had a rough past which made me learn how to help others, and myself included. I'm deliberately not giving out too much information to protect my past, and, present.



The reason why Wendi is not being Julie's carer anymore is because she started a job recently as head librarian at a private library in the Grimaldi Palace establishment, of which there are many buildings within the small area that Monaco is.


Wendi assumed that because one of her American friends, also 13, is a carer to her mum, and there are other junior carers similarly, but in the UK. I presume Wendi knew the legalities of having a young care giver legally allowed, so neither she or I thought any more about. Fact is, Julie will be getting a full time carer, letting me off my obligations the day she's discharged from hospital this Saturday, allowing me return to school the following Monday.


Wendi has promised not to read my postings in the forum, but I don't care either way. She quickly realised that I won't allow her to boss me around. Or, talk down to me. The last lady who lived here was bossy, and she I fought and because she smacked me, and not just once, I dealt with her and she ended up on the floor. She left next morning for Paris.


I remember being 7 years old. Living with a father who loved drinking made me learn to live beneath his radar. I'll not say any more, except I learnt First Aid because it was a necessity.


I've missed much of my childhood. I haven't had a happy childhood. But I loved my mum Anna and she adored me. In narcissistic terminology, I was 'the golden child'. Whereas Wendi and her twin Julie had their reasons not to and hate her to this day.



Presently, Wendi is going through emotional problems and hasn't spoken much to me since I taught her respect. She is seeing a therapist, like Julie had in the past whereas I'm seeing a counsellor who specializes in helping young teenagers. I've had several sessions. Some with tears, some with smiles. The sessions are every 10 days. Just so you know.



Sorry if I haven't explained myself well enough, but I've only popped into TeenHelp for a few minutes with a cuppa and a cookie before returning to the slog of online schooling and then I'll be starting another batch of homework.


I'll be back later because there is a long awaiting private message for me, and I'll need to think deeply (as I always do) before writing an intelligible reply. Just bear in mind that by the end of my day my brain is mush from too much schooling.


I love school. It's a joy! Honestly though I'd much rather be schooling at home than sitting in a class full of snarky spoilt girls. One of them who thinks I'm beneath her has a Chanel clutch bag to hold her pens and pencils. Ridiculous some? But it is hoped that the school headmistress may put me in a higher class because the curriculum may be better suited for what I want to do for a career. I hope I get moved. Then I won't need to wait out of sight of school CCTV cameras to teach that drama queen some manners. (I love a good scrap. But I fight dirty).



I've got to dash. Do please PM me, but I'm having to be slow with answering because I'm just so tired. Which answers your question, does it not?


Cheers!


Tommy.

Last edited by Sprite-1; March 10th 2021 at 12:27 PM. Reason: 3 typos.
   
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