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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Feel like I'm nothing. - May 29th 2021, 01:42 AM

[SIZE="a"]Horrible things keep happening to me and my family, I don't understand why. I feel like I don't matter. My parents say horrible things that happen makes us stronger. I don't feel like myself anymore, I'm not happy, feel depressed and giving up. I don't talk a lot to my parents or siblings. Don't know what's wrong with me.[/size]
   
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Re: Feel like I'm nothing. - May 29th 2021, 05:37 PM

Hey

I think that what your parents say about bad things making us stronger is something we've all heard in one way or another. It's true that coping with a bad situation sometimes forces you to learn how to cope with bad things happening, but that doesn't make it any less traumatic and upsetting when they happen. Thinking of bad things as a positive doesn't stop people feeling depressed, or like they can't cope. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you for not being okay and not feeling like yourself. You're human. We all burn out eventually when bad things keep happening, especially when you're feeling depressed too.

It sounds to me like your parents are trying to help lift you out of a bad space and into a better one by reminding you that one day you'll be on the other side of all of this. The problem is that right now, that's maybe not what you need to hear. I know you say you don't talk a lot to your parents, but do you feel like you could? If you are close and feel comfortable doing so, telling them what you're struggling with might help you feel less alone in dealing with this. This is true especially if your parents or siblings are having to deal with the same situations as you right now. Often, people will share many of the same feelings as us when they're going through a similar situation. Sometimes, just opening up a conversation can be really helpful.

It's also a good idea to have things which you know can relax you if you're struggling. For example, if you're feeling depressed, or you're upset because of something horrible which has happened, knowing that you can turn to activities which bring you some peace might help, such as going for a long walk, colouring, having a long bath etc. Do you have any activities which have made you feel more at ease in the past? Maybe you could make a list of things you know you enjoy, and any time you're really struggling you can look at this list, and pick one or two activities to try. If you're stuck, try having a look at the Alternatives list. For me, the distractions section is really useful because it gives you options which keep your mind and your body distracted. Even if it's for a short while, it might just help see you through a bad patch.

Please know that no matter what is happening, you do matter. The pain or feelings you have are valid, and even though sometimes bad things can make us stronger, often they make us feel weaker first. You're allowed to feel like you do, and you're not alone.



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Re: Feel like I'm nothing. - June 2nd 2021, 08:57 PM

Hey there,

Iím so sorry to hear things arenít good for you right now. Iím glad youíve reached out to us here at Teenhelp; you never have to be alone in what you go through.

Feeling this way sounds exhausting and I can imagine itís tiring you out. Have you felt this way for a long time? Iím wondering whether youíve ever spoken to anyone about how you feel? I know reaching out for help can be really scary but it can also be really helpful and become less scary once you begin doing so. So many people care about you and you donít have to face things on your own. If youíre in school/college you could always try talking to a teacher, support peer worker or nurse but remember there are other people you can talk to such as your doctor, family, friends, helplines and us here too. And whilst were always here to support you, sometimes having someone to go to in really life can be more helpful as theyíll be able to do more than what we can over the internet, that being said, we are always here.

You say a lot of bad things have been happening to yourself and your family and I want you to know this is a safe place where you can discuss those things if you do want too. I often question why bad things happen, but I still havenít found an answer, I just hope thereís a reason behind it but find myself needing to radically accept the situations I find myself in and allowing myself to feel the emotions I feel without allowing my feelings to become too intense to a point where I canít manage them, I wonder if you can try and do this too? Although the feelings are unpleasant, they are not dangerous and pushing them away can be make you feel like your bottling it all away. All emotions have functions so I wonder what the functions are behind what youíre feeling and whether you could have a think about this?

I think that whilst you may not feeling like doing a lot of things, itís important to keep on doing things that you enjoy doing and which you look forward to doing. Do you have any hobbies? I know being around animals really helps me and doing craft bits such as penpalling and crocheting.

I really do hope that things start to look up and that you start to feel even a little bit better. Remember that nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass. Youíre a lot stronger than you realise and you can and you will get through this but please donít be alone, you donít deserve to struggle in silence,

Hope and wishes,
Jessie


íHappiness can be found in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.í


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