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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Fallen Angel Offline
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Angry ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! (kinda long) - June 5th 2009, 10:31 AM

I recieved a letter from a solicitors ferm today. My fathers solicitors.

It reads as follows:

Dear "Chelsea-Marie"
We have been consulted by our client "Mr A-Hole" in connection with the issue of your paternity.

This is a very delicate matter but in the light of evidence which has come to the attention of our client he has some significant doubts as to whether he is your biological father.

The best way of resolving this matter would be for there to be a DNA testing which would be more or less conclusive.

We have written to your mother in this respect and understand that our client has approached yourself and you indicated that you had concerns about undergoing a test.

We would hope that you would be prepared to agree to avoid Court proceedings as if you were not then we would have to advise our client to apply to the Court for a declaration and the Court would then consider whether or not to order a test.

This is a matter of some significance and one which could be in your interest to determine one way or the other. It would, for example, be most unfortunate if our client died and not having made a Will the issue of paternity arose because if he is not your biological father then you would not be an automatic beneficiary under the Intestacy Rules and thus if he still wanted to benefit you it would be neccesary for him to make a Will. It is clearly better that this issue is resolved now.

We accordingly enclose a forum which we should be grateful if you could complete, sign and date and return to us in the stamped envelope provided indicating whether or not you are prepared to consent to a test.

If you have any doubts about the matter then we would advise that you consult your own solicitors, pass this letter and enclosure to them and ask them to reply to the same upon your behalf.


What the fuck?! I'm 19, and there is no question of whether or not he is my father; my mum never cheated on him. Infact, the dispicable peice of slime that is my "father" turned her to women and she's been with her female partner since I was 6 months old!

This only came about because if I refuse the test (which I'm not going to) he will not have to pay the 18 and a half years of child maintainence he owes. Because they have no proof I'm his daughter and therefore no proof he owes the money.

But he told me that I'd get a letter from the CSA (Child Support Agency) but this has been issued by his solicitors. Does he really doubt my paternity?

I don't know what to do. If I refuse it, then he'll get away with not paying the 15k he owes; but I'll still see him. If I accept it, then I'll never see him again; and I need him at the moment as he is half way through fixing my fiance's car. Which we need to be able to pick up my step-kids.



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Re: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! (kinda long) - June 7th 2009, 04:06 PM

Hi Chelsea,

I am wondering why it is that you would not be able to see your father if you completed the test? Is this something he told you? If so, that is not fair of him to say at all, especially under the circumstances. If he told you that, then I suggest you talk to him and let him know that you really need him around right now.

I think it is really low of him to try and get out of paying this way. Since he is your father, then he should need to pay what he owes. I think you would be doing the right thing if you went along with the test. I don't think it's right for him to ask it of you, but I think you should do it all the same.

Take care and good luck. I understand how frustrating this must be for you.

Nat.


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Re: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! (kinda long) - June 8th 2009, 12:39 AM

What an asshole.

Anyway, here is what you should do: take the test, and then use some of that money he's gonna have to pay to get a nice mechanic to fix your fiance's car
   
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Re: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! (kinda long) - June 8th 2009, 11:09 PM

Strider: I wouldn't be able to see my dad if I completed the test, because he has specifically asked me not to. I think that if I completed the test; I would most likely never see him again.

Shannon: Unfortunately, because I'm over 18 all of the money goes straight to the government and I won't see a penny of it. If I were to be getting money out of this I wouldn't hesitate; I'd choose 15k over my dad any day! Especially seeing as I'm meant to be getting married in 62 days, and really need the money right now!! Grrrrrr!!


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Re: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! (kinda long) - June 9th 2009, 12:02 AM

If he's stupid enough to walk away, be intelligent enough to let him go.

So if you do the test, he doesn't have to pay back child support? But If you do, he has to? Do it. Just get it over with. Make him owe you for what he hasn't paid back. Worst scenario, you're letting go of a father that is manipulative and owes you money. You get the money, and lose someone obviously not worth your presence.


EDIT: Just read the above post... Well that's money down the drain. Can't you fight him in court for the money?


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Last edited by Algernon; June 9th 2009 at 12:03 AM. Reason: Multiple posts have been merged automatically.
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Re: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!! (kinda long) - June 9th 2009, 12:57 AM

I don't think so. I mean if I take the test; he HAS to pay the money back. But due to some weird law in the UK, because I'm over 18 and out of full time education; the money all goes back to the government. I'm not sure if I can fight it. I may go seek legal advice on this one to be honest.

I know he's not really worth all this trouble. To he honest, he never has been. I mean, he told me when I was like 12; that he would have committed suicide at my birth had he known what he'd have ended up with. He also tells me on a way too regular basis that he still wishes my mum had had an abortion; and of how he begged her to have on from the moment he found out she was expecting.

So, I guess he's not worth all the crap he's put me through. But at the same time, I can't help but go back, because at the end of the day he is my dad. And I so desperately want him to love me. Pathetic, I know.


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