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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Kayla200 Offline
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My best friend - June 12th 2009, 08:42 PM

Ok...so me and my best friend....Idk where to start I mean I love her to death but it seems like we fight constantly....I mean we where doin ok for a wile but then ok so she had me meet one of her guy friends and me and this guy friend where hanging out for maybe like 2 weeks with her of course well me and the guy kinda started likeing echother lol and txting echother even when we where in the same room it was weird but kewl...well we kinda told echother we like echother yesturday and my friend found out and flipped....she has a gf so its not cause of any reason like she likes him cuz its not.....she just told me that i have a bad track record with guys which I do...and I usually never talk to them after we break up cause its usually them being a major dick...so...then she got onto subjects that I talk about her ect which I don't like I mean I joke around and what not but thats normal...yes I get mad at her but never tell her because well....I kinda look up to her even tho shes younger and I don't want her to hate me....I'm sick of getting yelled at and well put down and I know some of its me but some not....idk what to do....I'm at a utter loss and I feel like a bad friend...should I? my motto is bros before hoes but I'm sooo sick of being put down for everyone I like or date what do I do???
~Kayla~


R.I.P Lee, Logan, Austin 3/5/09

As tears fall from my eyes,I realized I didn't know them as much as I knew everyone else,Yet what I knew was they where apart of me in different ways,And as I watched them be put in the ground,Their spirits floating,Apart of me went with them...........You will forever be missed and loved...Never forgotten
   
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Good Morning Offline
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Re: My best friend - June 13th 2009, 03:27 AM

Heyy Kayla. First things first, I want you to know that you are not a bad friend. You haven't done anything wrong! Sounds to me like your friend can be a bit protective of you. But hey, this can also be a good thing. It means she cares about you and wants you safe. But at the same time, there's such a thing as caring too much. You're allowed to like (or date) who you want, and your friend shouldn't be preventing you from doing so. However, it's normal for some friends to say something along the lines of "I don't think that would end up well because..." or "Maybe this isn't such a good idea because..." to let you know what they think - all in a calm, cool, and collected manner. What your friend did is immature and you don't deserve to be disrespected like that. Also, try speaking up for yourself. I know it may seem like you're being mean, but you're not the one running her life, now are you? Tell your friend that she's entitled to her own opinion and ask her why she's saying things like that. You may learn something interesting. And remember to keep your cool - there's no use getting into a screaming match. You deserve respect, especially from your friends.
   
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Re: My best friend - June 13th 2009, 05:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Good Morning View Post
Heyy Kayla. First things first, I want you to know that you are not a bad friend. You haven't done anything wrong! Sounds to me like your friend can be a bit protective of you. But hey, this can also be a good thing. It means she cares about you and wants you safe. But at the same time, there's such a thing as caring too much. You're allowed to like (or date) who you want, and your friend shouldn't be preventing you from doing so. However, it's normal for some friends to say something along the lines of "I don't think that would end up well because..." or "Maybe this isn't such a good idea because..." to let you know what they think - all in a calm, cool, and collected manner. What your friend did is immature and you don't deserve to be disrespected like that. Also, try speaking up for yourself. I know it may seem like you're being mean, but you're not the one running her life, now are you? Tell your friend that she's entitled to her own opinion and ask her why she's saying things like that. You may learn something interesting. And remember to keep your cool - there's no use getting into a screaming match. You deserve respect, especially from your friends.
The reason she didn't nor does want me to date the guy is because her gf is best friends with him and because shes friends with him and all my relationships end with 1 of us hateing echother and never speaking to the other again and she wants to be able to hang with both of us at the same time and she also doesnt want me to like get a bf gf because she doesn't want me 2 ditch her and hang with my bf gf all the time so idk
~Kayla~


R.I.P Lee, Logan, Austin 3/5/09

As tears fall from my eyes,I realized I didn't know them as much as I knew everyone else,Yet what I knew was they where apart of me in different ways,And as I watched them be put in the ground,Their spirits floating,Apart of me went with them...........You will forever be missed and loved...Never forgotten
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Good Morning Offline
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Re: My best friend - June 15th 2009, 01:30 AM

Sounds like there's a trust issue here. Try talking to your friend about it, and remember that there's a first time for everything - you're not always going to end up hating an ex. Plus you all can still hang out together, even if two of you are dating. My ex and I had the same friends, and we all were able to hang out together. It was a little awkward once we broke up, but now we're all back to normal. Not everything is going to end up awful. And when you're dating, you have to remember to make time for both your date and your friends. Sure, you're going to want to hang with your date more than a friend most of the time, but they need some love too! I really think you should talk to your friend about how you feel. Maybe set some ground rules, too (like hang out with your friends on one day and your date on the other). It may seem weird and scheduled, but it can work. I hope everything works out.
   
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