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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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confession... - June 16th 2009, 06:46 PM

not sure if this is the right forum but here it goes....
i needed to tell someone and get it off my chest:
today is my sister's wedding (we aren't blood related we just call each other sisters).she is the person that means the absolute most to me in this world,we were attached at the hip and basically i live for her
she's wanted to get married forever and she's so happy and i'm happy for her too.i cant go to the wedding and im kind of glad i cant because even though im happy for her i think i'm jealous too. i liked being the center of her world(or pretty close to it) and i'm scared that soon she wont have time for me anymore since she'll have a family of her own to deal with and i'm really pissed at myself for feeling like this i'm just being a selfish b****
but no matter how hard i try to squash these feelings they just come back
i'm so upset about this i've been crying about it for days and everything god i annoy the hell out of myself sometimes this is so unlike me i dont know whats wrong with me. i need to get a grip on myself. this is stupid.
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Re: confession... - June 16th 2009, 08:00 PM

It's a reasonable concern. Your friend is going to be adjusting to a whole new lifestyle in the months to come, so don't be surprised if you guys can't hang out as much as you'd like to.

Now may be a great time to hang out with friends you haven't seen in a while, or create new friendships. While it's great that you're so close to someone that you could call her a sister, it's not healthy to live solely for someone else... that is, if you're neglecting other aspects of your life in the process.

Also, keep in mind that just because she's married now, doesn't mean you can't go visit. Granted, it would be a good idea to call in advance and ask if now's a good time to visit... but just because her husband is there doesn't mean she's not available. Perhaps you can become friends with him as well! Even friends with his friends... double-dating in your future, perhaps? =)






   
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Re: confession... - June 16th 2009, 10:02 PM

This is entirely reasonable. My sister recently had a child, and she's been living with the father for a couple of years. Yes, I did see her less, and we may not talk as much as we used to, but she's always there when I need her, or want her, and so will your sister. Tell her how you feel, she'll understand and make more of an effort to keep you in her life.
Just remember that even though she may have a new family, you were her first family so you're just as, if not more special.
Also, I'm going to move this to friends and family, I just feel it fits better there [:


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Re: confession... - June 18th 2009, 01:43 AM

Hey,

This is definitely a reasonable concern. My brother has his own family and has been living with them for three years now and things have definitely changed. But, if you two really care about one anoher(which I think you do) then you will still find time for one another. It may not be the same amount of time as before but time will still be made.

Also, look at this as a new experience, a time for you to find yourself. Experience new things and make new friends. No one will ever replace your sister but this could lead to new friends and what not.


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