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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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tk338 Offline
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Loosing a friend? - January 16th 2009, 01:18 PM

Im 17, in my last year of school me and my mate will be going out separate ways next year for porbably the most of the rest of our lives... different parts of the country you see, hes been a good mate to me through everything since about 4 or 5 years ago, and the longest friend Ive ever had, I havent always been the most sociable of people. Anyhow since about last september when we started back at school, he got a girlfriend, and it didnt work out, and he really wanted it too, but since then hes been different. We dont talk as much, hes not as talkative, but just with me, he also gets really mad at people.

Now I understand if it was something to do with this girl then yeah it could be, but somehow it just doesnt seem right. Nowadays in a day he'll be 20% friend, 80% just having a go at me or ignoring me. Id talk to him, but hes also not the kinda guy you can talk to. I know it does sound weird, but truthfully honestly, true true friends I have 2, him and a girl who Ive only ever spoken to online.

I dont want to leave on a bad note in the summer when we go our separate ways, but not being able to tlk to him about him being to mad all the time, and noone else to turn to, I mean I have friends, just no more real close ones... Im lost...

Any ideas?



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Re: Loosing a friend? - January 16th 2009, 03:09 PM

Hi Joel.
I totally understand how you feel. I've been friends with people, (and still sort of am) who were once really who i considered to be best friends, but suddenly it's as if they've had a personality change! It does suck, to be quite frank - as losing a close or best friend really hurts and even though they're still in your life, they're not the same as they once was and that hurts the most, knowing it will probably never go back to how it was.

You say he isn't the talk-about-it-type...so how about writing a letter? It's not soppy or anything for guys to do this, it's just so you can get your feelings across to him in a way he can't really ignore it or shove things back in your face, as he could do in a face-to-face confrontation. Well, that said; he could possibly tear it up and choose never to respond to it, but....you never know until you try

I know it's really hard to deal with but changing is part of life, everything; everyONE changes, sometimes for the better, but mostly for the worse. We just have to plough through life and accept this.

Good luck :]


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Re: Loosing a friend? - January 16th 2009, 10:38 PM

Hey Joel *gives you a big hug*.

Maybe it's because he just needs space and time to cool down over it? Anyways if you wanna have a rant or just talk, pm me
   
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Re: Loosing a friend? - January 17th 2009, 05:11 PM

Aww thanks you two, its not that hes not just the talkative type, hes a real guy guy, wont talk about feeling, wont talk about how hes feeling at all... If he gets angry its very hard for people to spot it, I guess ive learnt to read it but hes a very hard person to read and over the last few years it just seems like hes slowly clamming up, and that girl really accelerated it. If I wrote a letter he'd bring it into school and laugh about it probably, or something like that or just have a go at me for being like that.

also Im a really open person, Im trying not to be as open as I was but honestly ill pour my heart out to anyone and everyone if I know theyre not gonna laugh in my face and walk off. When I broke up with my GF he was there for me, took me out places made sure I was busy and listened to all of everything I said, but wouldnt let me do anything from the girl he split up with =/.

But yeah I guess people to change... Ill try stepping down for a bit maybe? Leave him alone a lil? If it gets closer to the time and no change ill try a letter too, thank you .

Thanks both for your input though, and Robin Id never rant at you, youre way too nice!

Anyway thanks again



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Do something that is interesting. If it is not interesting, find out why it is not interesting.
   
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Re: Loosing a friend? - January 18th 2009, 09:53 AM

Ah i see! Well you know, different things affect people in different ways but given time, he will probably start to see how his behaviour has affected you - and hopefully explain why he acted in that way. He must have a valid reason i'm sure, as he probably doesn't know he's intentionally hurting you - maybe he's just lashing out and you happen to be there when he does?
I definitely think you should just give him space and time, don't be too clingy as this might just push him away further. Try to branch out a bit, socalise with different people more (new clubs, sports, etc?) in the meantime.

take care :]


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Re: Loosing a friend? - January 26th 2009, 11:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tk338 View Post
Robin Id never rant at you, youre way too nice!

Anyway thanks again
thanks but honestly you can, it's what I'm here for


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