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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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newbie552 Offline
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she's really getting on my nerves - January 16th 2009, 10:47 PM

ok, so there's this one friend of mine who lets call BB that's really been bugging me.

She always seems to be complaining about one thing or another and I know for a fact at least 1/3 of the things she's complaining about are lies

She destroyed a friendship my sister had.

And recently she wants me to study w/ her but she told me not to invite another friend of mine because apperntly that friend keeps cheating off her and asks for every little thing when that friend only asks for help once in a while and doesn't cheat and BB always cheated off of me when I sat w/ her

It's all very frustrating
   
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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 16th 2009, 10:54 PM

Hey Robin. I know friend drama is annoying. I think, the best thing to do is confront her nicely and maturely. Honest will only allow things to come out clear and you'll stop having to put up with things. I would tell BB that you like the friend she is complaining about and you don't enjoy hearing anything she's saying. Let her know that you think she's being a bit hypocritical and should lighten up and just get along with everyone. Of course, don't say it like that word for word, maybe be nicer then I was. Basically, honesty will only give you honesty and we all want the truth to be told to us. It's harder to take, yea, but gets you further then lying. I hope this helped you a little bit. Take care :]

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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 16th 2009, 11:16 PM

but I'm so bad at confrontation...
   
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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 17th 2009, 11:48 AM

I agree with Melissa's advice here, but I would say it doesn't need to be a confrontation- just a friendly thing sorta- "Ah, come on BB, I'm sure you're just mistaken about them- I'll bring them over and i'm sure everything will run fine." I mean, tailor that to your own style, but the jist is there- it's firm, yet friendly at the same time.
   
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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 18th 2009, 10:38 PM

she's also hurt me in the past. She told last year that all my friends hate me and that the only reason they hang out w/ me is because she forces them to
   
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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 30th 2009, 06:28 PM

Now something else has happend. She wanted to study w/ me but told me not to include this other friend of mine because apperntly she's to annoying. I told BB no because (didn't tell her this part) the reasons BB had for her being annoyign wernt true.

Anyways I think she either doesn't like me or hates me now


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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 30th 2009, 06:36 PM

If BB doesn't like you, that's probably a good thing. Start avoiding her. Just put it simply, "I don't want to be around me because you're hurting me." Just stop being around her. She's hurting you, and it could turn into something worse.


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 31st 2009, 11:31 AM

well that would work, if I had any conforntational skills at all


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Re: she's really getting on my nerves - January 31st 2009, 03:31 PM

Hi Robin,

Maybe you should study with your other friend instead? If BB is lying and not treating you properly, maybe it would be better to hang out with people that appreciate you. Though, this still comes down to telling her how you feel too. You can't just get up and leave without saying why. Explain to her what she's doing and how it is affecting you. Just say 'I don't like it when ------' or 'I feel this way when -------'. And maybe you could come up with solutions for that together. If you still want to be friends with her, then say so and say you'd like it if she didn't lie to you and you would like to be able to study in a group or with other people as well.

I hope this goes well for you. I know it's difficult to be confrontational, but it's better to just go up and say it and stick up for how you are feeling.

Nat.


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