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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Jessielove Offline
Happily In Love. <3
Average Joe
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Name: Jessie
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

He wasn't the one to be like this. - January 16th 2009, 11:18 PM

I have this one friends, we'll call him Tom. I hang out with him a lot, or use to do that.
We hung out today, but he was almost three hours late. Normally he's late, but never that late. He didn't even talk with me while I was waiting. So I was gonna call him at 4 and tell him I was just going home, but he showed up. So we hung out.
I finally had to tell him that I didn't like him in the way he liked me. Normally he's a cool guy, sweet and everything. I told him I didn't think I should tell him this, but he wanted to know and he said he wouldn't get mad unless it was me killing his whole family. So I finally spilled it. It was fine at first, but then he started to yell at me...he's never done that before and I've been pretty bad.
He soon started pretty much going after my best friend, who I've had problems with, but we've worked things out. Now, I lost one of my friends because she was attacking all my friends and that's not cool with me. So I started getting really pissed and I told him. He kept doing it. Saying how I get my friend too much stuff, it was his birthday, for my best friend's 18th birthday, I go all out. He wanted cookies, he wanted me to bake them, so I did. Tom made fun of it. I got to the point of where I walked away and he didn't care.
Then I had to go back because he had my coat. He refused to give me my coat going all, "Do you really want to leave?" I said no...that I just wanted to get away from him because he wasn't being cool. He finally let me go. Then my ex boyfriend came to the mall, well he still has some of my stuff and I want it back, he's been saying he'll give it to me. Well, he was hanging out with Tom, so I couldn't go and he refused to come by me and never told me why.

Now, do I really even stay friends with Tom because he's hurt me before and he ended up telling me I set myself up to get hurt and it was my own fault. I don't even know what to do with him anymore. I don't want to deal with someone like that. And my ex, do I even try anymore? He never wants to be friends, but he was the one who asked me to stay his friend.

When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Katrina Offline
you only live once.
I can't get enough
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Name: Katrina
Gender: Female
Location: New York.

Posts: 3,114
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Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: He wasn't the one to be like this. - January 17th 2009, 07:01 AM

Hey Jessie. [:

The relationship with Tom concerns me a bit--he sounds kind of controlling at times. Also:

I don't want to deal with someone like that.
Don't. If you don't want to deal with him, that's up to you. If nothing else, I think you need to spend a bit of time away from Tom so he can think about how he's hurt you [if he even does realize he has] and hopefully he'll also realize that he can't possibly that controlling and protective of you and still expect that you be friends with him. Since he's friends with your ex-boyfriend, maybe he's heard stories from that side of things that have affected how he acts around you? I'm not one to know, to be honest, I have no idea. Also:

He never wants to be friends, but he was the one who asked me to stay his friend.
Unfortunately, I think this may be one of those times when actions speak louder than words. Many times, people will ask their partners to stay friends with them upon breaking up out of common courtesy. However, I imagine that if he truly wanted to be your friend, he'd put forth some effort. So, you make of that what you feel you should.

Good luck!

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