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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Cerberus Offline
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Not sure about my 3 "best friends" - June 29th 2009, 07:58 AM

It started about a year ago and continues on until today, my "friends" started to make fun of me and pick on me for various reasons.
At the beginning i thought they were just joking around and that they would stop doing that eventually, but i was wrong.
They slowly stopped inviting me to "hang out" and just go places with them.
In the last days of school it was getting more intense until one day they just all were doing it openly in class, i said to them that i'm sick of their immature behavior and why were they doing this and they just kept on looking at me, whispering and laughing amongst them. I almost cried (and it's not easy to make me cry).
On the way home i talked to one of them and he said that i shouldn't be mad on him, like he didn't do anything.
3 weeks ago we had a big fight and i told them that they're acting stupid and if they don't to be friends with me just say it and it's better for both of us, naturally they didn't care a lot about that.
2 weeks ago they acted like it all never happened and asked me to go out with them, they asked if i was still mad about them, frankly i didn't know what was the right answer so i said "I don't know".
Since then i have seen them once more, they were somewhat ignoring me and i didn't really feel comfortable, but they didn't harass me. They aren't even talking to me on MSN and such.
So my question is what now, what to do, still consider them friends or let go on them.


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Re: Not sure about my 3 "best friends" - June 29th 2009, 08:35 AM

Oh boy, that's a tough situation. =(

On one hand, they may be feeling remorseful for going too far with their teasing, but don't want to admit that they were in the wrong, or don't know how to break the ice and return to normalcy. On the other hand, they could simply be jerks who don't deserve your time and attention.

If I were in your situation, I would take them up on a specific offer to hang out (certain time, certain place) and behave as normally as possible. The key is to appear confident, not self-conscious, and not angry. If you come across as forgiving and friendly, perhaps they'll be able to relax around you. If not... well, you gave it a shot.






   
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Re: Not sure about my 3 "best friends" - June 29th 2009, 09:07 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you are going through so much at the moment friends can be a great thing and a bad thing all rolled up into one.

I cannot tell you what to do but I do what to tell you that you deserve better than this. No one deserves to be treated like this. You know, guys can be kind of jerky at times but in my opinion it seems like this has gone past jerkiness because you pretty much confronted them and they are still being messed up.

You could try confronting them one more time, explaining your feelings one more time, and if that does not work maybe taking a break from the situation would be a good idea.

Maybe if you really communicate your feelings and say "I get mad when you harass me..." or whatever. You know express everything they will really get it and let up. Maybe some off the reason they are acting like this is because they aren't sure what to do and they don't want to step on your toes? I don't know? One more talk might be a good idea and then if that doesn't work take a break and go from there.

Hope this helped and if you need help feel free to pm me.


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Re: Not sure about my 3 "best friends" - June 29th 2009, 12:58 PM

Hi There. I have a huge amount of experience with situations like these. I have this one "friend" who likes to bring me down and then act okay about it the next day, so i sort of get where you're coming from. I've just confronted her about this the other day after a long time of bottling up my emotions, and well, let's just say she apologised but seems to be acting jerky again. I'm just going to be the better person and not resort to her level of idiocy; and that...i think, is honestly the best thing to do. Don't rise to it as this is what they want - some sort of reaction to say that 'they've won'. Some people just get off on the thrill and attention of annoying and bringing down other people. It's important to just recognise who your true friends are and try your best to ignore the more jerky ones.

I would do my best to confront them again, if i were you; and if their childish behaviour continues - just ignore them and find other people to hang out with who will value you, for just being you.

good luck =]


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Re: Not sure about my 3 "best friends" - June 29th 2009, 01:24 PM

Thank you for all the advice i appreciate it
   
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