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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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seventeen going on seven....wait, what? - July 1st 2009, 04:39 AM

i hate how my parents over protect me over everything.
as long as i'm in the house or whatever they ignore me like they could careless.

but seriously, i'm seventeen.
i was going out with a couple friends from church and my parents hadn't met them, so they freaked out. and i was like "trust me, there fine." and my mom was like "call me every hour, do you hear me." seriously?! that's kind of bad and humilating when I have to excuse myself every hour to call my mom.

but when i go out with any friends, if i don't call her with in an hour, she'll freak and call me. and it's annoying, i've tried to calmly speak to her and she just blew me off.

she storms around the house in a bad mood but if i'm in a bad mood then it's like a crime or something. she snaps at me but if i say one thing in a slightly snappy tone, it's over.

it's just so ugh.
and my parents are all no myspace/aim/hotmail any of that nature because there are predators. it's not like i'm an idiot and just talk to random people (cept on here) and go and meet them. it's not like my myspace isn't private but NO. it doesn't matter to them.

they have to control my every move it's like.
they want to keep me there "little girl," yet they want nothing to do with me.
they hate that i'm different, i swear, my dad was all like lets go fishing, he know's i hate fishing, i don't know why he ask and i said, "no thanks," and he went on a tirade, "that's what this family does, you loved it when you were little blahblahblah" well i'm not a little girl anymore, i'm less than a year away from moving out and going off to college.... what are they going to do then because i'm not calling home every hour and they aren't going to meet every single friend.... and there going to have no control whatsoever.....

i'm 17 not 7, i take care of myself when i'm home and i can take care of myself perfectly fine. i hate it; i'm not like my family at all they need to realize that and get over, they need to ease up and let me have some freedom, they need to let go.... i'm so unbelievable annoyed right now.

when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: seventeen going on seven....wait, what? - July 1st 2009, 04:55 AM

I hear ya =/ Sounds like the story of my life. I lived with my mother and she was the same... drove me crazy!

I ended up moving out early. I now live on my own (well, with my bf because I had no other choice... she sort of kicked me out lol). I see/speak with my mother every now & then... but it just SUCKS in general, especially when we're both stubborn.

You've got to make a decision on what you want to do. Whats stopping you from standing up for yourself? You're almost an adult; they're probably just scared as hell (like every parent) to see their little girl/boy grow up. But they're going to have to deal with it and let you go down your own path.

What do you think they'll do if you don't call? You mentioned your mother would get upset. But so? who cares? Let her get upset. Be who you are, and try to explain that you're almost an adult and you'd like her to treat you like one. Whats the worst that can happen?

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"Heh, I don't think anybody lives THAT long."
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: seventeen going on seven....wait, what? - July 2nd 2009, 05:27 PM

Hi Cassie,

It does sound like your parents are a little over the top with their concern. All the same, they are your parents and they do care about you. I know that it can be annoying sometimes, but the best thing to do is to sit them both down and talk about it, and then do your best to put up with it if they continue.

Some parents are strict about their kid's friends, especially if they don't know them. Parents like to get to know who their kid is hanging out with and if they are safe and a good influence. I know it sounds childish, but the best thing to do is to have your friends stop by at your house before you leave to hang out and just have them say hello to your parents. I find that puts my parents at ease and gives them a little time to talk to them.

My parents are very similar to yours with the no myspace and no facebook kind of rule. They hear all of these horror stories about predators online and they get concerned. That is understandable, because the news really makes a big story out of them and make it seem like the whole internet is out to get young people. I find that hotmail is a necessity these days, though, and you may want to talk to your parents about that. There are some things online that you need for school as well, so they should try to push their concern aside for a bit and give you a little responsibility.

I know you've tried talking to your mom, but have you tried talking when your dad is there too? Maybe if you sit them both down they will actually listen and give you a chance to prove that you are respobsible. Try to keep it a conversation rather than an argument and listen to their concerns as well.

Remember that you are seventeen going on eighteen, and this overprotective problem wont last forever.


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Re: seventeen going on seven....wait, what? - July 2nd 2009, 05:56 PM


The earlier posts made some pretty agreeable points that you should take into consideration. However, I have a few additions of my own.

So your mom wants you to call her every hour. Do it. It may be a little agitating for the first couple, but I feel it'll please her if you are the one to call her. That'll show that you have respect for you mom. Although you don't like it, you are still 17 and under your parents' control to an extent.

I know you want to be your own person, but you don't have to go to extremes and completely rebel against your parents. I think they are feeling just as fed up as you are--that's why they're so upset when you don't wanna do any family things or whatnot...

Well, I don't know. That's just my ten cents. I hope you try it out.

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I want you to expand mine.
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Re: seventeen going on seven....wait, what? - July 3rd 2009, 07:37 PM

Dear xxJesus_Freakxx ;
If you are seventeen, I think that you should have more freedom then your parents are giving you. Maybe you should talk to them about it, if you are almost eighteen, the age where you can do what you want, you're parents might want to protect you that much, because when you are 18, your parents will have less control over you. So you should definitely talk to them about it. you should have more freedom. I'm sure you're an independant person.

good luck(:
feel free to talk to me whenever you need it.

When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: seventeen going on seven....wait, what? - July 4th 2009, 07:59 AM

Hey Cassie,

I think that you should sit down with your parents and try to have a heart to heart. Let them know that you still respect them and love them but you feel it is time that they give you a little more freedom.

Maybe you could try to discuss some of the other things you told us as well; like your feeling of them not wanting much to do with you when you are in the house. They could be doing that to give you some freedom, you know? Maybe they think giving you space at home is good enough and they don't realize that letting you have breathing room outside of the house is something you need as well. Do you think you could talk to them about it?

Cassie, hang in there because you will be going to college soon and when that time comes you will probably sort of miss your parents. Try to enjoy the time left and if you want to talk my pm box is open.

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