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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Name: Kate
Age: 23
Gender: Female

Posts: 22
Join Date: May 31st 2009

Unhappy Their fighting because of me - July 4th 2009, 06:03 PM

Me and my dad just had an argument about my future job and my mum stood up to me and said it was my choice. We've been talking about it a lot and I want my job but my dad is controlling it saying 'no, don't do this, do that' 'You need to do this or you will never get a good job' I just want to live my life.

So now my mum and dad are fighting and it's all my fault. Should I just give up and live my dads dream?? I want to live my life but it can't be worth the pain. I have no close friends to talk to or counserlers and not my parents. I just don't know what to do.

My mum just came in crying saying it was all her fault. How do I comfort her?? I mean aren't parents supposed to comfort their kids not the other way round. I couldn't say anything just 'it'll be ok' and I so scared that my mum and dad will break up because they fight a lot and it will be my fault. I want to talk to someone but I can't talk to anyone and if I talk to mum she will cry and blame herself, I just really need help.


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Last edited by XxBelieveInDreamsxX; July 4th 2009 at 06:14 PM.
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Name: Nat
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Re: Their fighting because of me - July 4th 2009, 07:18 PM

Hey Kate,

No matter what happens between your parents, it is not your fault. It is not your fault. Everyone has disagreements sometimes and there is nothing you can do to change that. Your parents will talk through this and discuss it and do what is right for them. I'm sorry you are caught up in the fighting right now, but try not to let it get to you. You have done nothing- absolutely nothing- wrong.

You are lucky to have your mom stick up for you like that. It is good to have that kind of support when you are trying to do what you want to do. It is worth doing what makes you happy, Kate. Living your dad's dream may make him happy, but it is your life, not his. You don't need to let him rule your life. You can make your own decisions. It sounds like you already know what you want to do and you've given it a lot of thought. Stick with what you want to do.

I suggest you talk to your mom about this. Since she is sticking up for you, she would be a good person to confide in. As for comforting her, just keep talking to her and let her know that this isn't her fault. It isn't anyone's fault. Disagreements happen. Keep reassuring your mom that it isn't her fault. Maybe get out of the house for a bit and go for a walk together to calm down.

This is your life, Kate, not your dad's. Do what you know is right for you and fulfill your own dreams.

If you ever need to talk, you can always reach me on the forum, so feel free to PM me any time.

Stay strong.

Nat.


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