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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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toastiee Offline
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my mom cheated on my dad, and i can't forgive her - July 11th 2009, 12:41 AM

my mom cheated on my dad multiple times in the early years of their marriage ( like.. first..10-15 yrs? i know, no so early, but they've been married for like 23 years). and even still she'll go see random male co-workers and gosh know what the fuck else.

i can't find it in myself to forgive her. I find it betrayal to the family that she would do that to us. I find it absolutely disgusting that i have more morals than she does. filthy... for this reason i hardly have any respect for her. which, in turn, causes me to be all snappy and bitchy at her because quite frankly if I DID respect her, i wouldn't be acting that way. It's just utterly disgusting what she did. and i can't help but think about it whenever she asks me to do something for her.

i find myself thinking mean things about her in my head, and i know it's wrong. but my feelings just take over. I don't want to be thinking this mean things about her because she's my mom, yah?

guh.
   
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Re: my mom cheated on my dad, and i can't forgive her - July 11th 2009, 03:53 PM

Hey There.

It is perfectly natural for you to feel this way about your mum. It is also natural for you to not want to think these things!

Could you not talk to her about what she is doing? Or if you can't talk to her, maybe write her a note about how you feel??

Maybe if she looked at it from your point of view she might see that what she is doing is wrong?

Does your Dad know? If he does he is one laid back Dad?! How did you find about this?

I really think that this is something that you need to talk through with your parents, they are your family, and if you don't feel a part of it or don't want to be a part of it for any reason it needs to be talked about.

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Re: my mom cheated on my dad, and i can't forgive her - July 11th 2009, 06:01 PM

^ yeah he does know. when i move out for university their apparently going to divorce. They stayed together for me and my brother. financially they needed each other to pay for our education, food, bills.

i knew this a whillllee ago.
   
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Re: my mom cheated on my dad, and i can't forgive her - July 11th 2009, 07:53 PM

It's normal not to be able to forgive her for what she's done she will have hurt you, your dad and your family. Could you talk to her and let her know what this is doing to you to as well as your dad?
It's better that everyone knows how each other feel about it, it'll clear the air and hopefully you'll be able to move from it, wether your parents are divorced or not.


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Re: my mom cheated on my dad, and i can't forgive her - July 12th 2009, 07:28 PM

Hi there,

When something like this happens, it really does tear a family apart. I'm really sorry your mom cheated like that- it was an irresponsible thing to do, and she probably wasn't thinking about how much it would hurt her family.

But even though you are disgusted by what she did, she is still your mom. You may not like doing things for her anymore, but you should still try and do your best to help out.

Also, if you are feeling angry and upset about this, you should tell her. Let her know exactly how her cheating made you feel and that you are finding it difficult to respect her now. It's not fair for her if you are angry at her and she doesn't know why, or she doesn't fully know why. Take it upon yourself to talk about this.

Your dad may be a good person to talk to when you are feeling upset as well. He has been hurt by this cheating just as much as you have, and it may be some comfort for you to both vent a little.

Your parents are going through a really tough time right now, but they are sticking together for now for the sake of you and your brother. That must be really hard on them- especially your dad. They really care about you two to be able to do this, and that means a lot.

I know you're frustrated at the moment, but do your best to try to calm down and talk about this. It's better to be open about these feelings with your parents then keep them in.

Take care.

Nat.


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