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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
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FaceBook - Gets me upset. - July 12th 2009, 08:41 PM

I looked on facebook, another gorgeous person whom I knee from high school. It seems like everyone went on without me....they grew up into beautilf young ladies, i grew up into an ugly duckling.....fuck me....im ugly and fat.....but im not in denial....i know it I know its stupid, but the picture was of my friends out having fun...and I dont have them as my friends anymore., obviously coz of my mental state.

P.S: - Sorry if I used the term 'facebook' if this post is not allowed, then i respect you for deleting it.
P.P.S: - Sorry for being stupid.


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Last edited by i_am_me_again; July 12th 2009 at 08:48 PM.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
glittermist Offline
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Re: FaceBook - Gets me upset. - July 12th 2009, 09:25 PM

Jaymi, this is not a stupid post. I really sympathise with you on this. Whenever i log onto facebook; all i ever see is photos from days out plastered left, right and center, with everyone BUT me having fun =[ It gets me down a lot too..

Just try to remember all of your good points! Come up with a list and stick it on your bedroom door or something; and then look at it each day and re-read them until it finally sticks into your head. I'm sure you're an amazing person with tons of unique and special qualities; you just need to try your hardest to stop comparing yourself with others as we were all built and designed for specific and different reasons - if we were all clones, how boring and uncool would that be?

Have you talked to your doctor about your body and self-esteem issues? Maybe he/she can refer you to a dietician and counsellor if the need be. Delete your facebook account if it gets you down so much or at least de-activate it for a bit.

Chin up, hun <3


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: FaceBook - Gets me upset. - July 13th 2009, 01:38 AM

You're not being stupid Jamie, I know exactly how you feel.
I left school in the middle of the year this past school year, as I was being bullied and felt extremely depressed at school, and I've seen pictures from their little graduation ceremony, all of them talking about how much they're going to miss each other, and I've never been a part of all of that. So I know where you're coming from, and I know that it's hard to deal with.

But what I've realized is that even though I may not have been like all of those other people, or felt like I ever fit in with them, all of that is part of the past. What matters is that there are a lot of things in your life that you're lucky to have, just as they are. I know it's not always easy, but what's important is that you try your best to realize that while they have things that they're lucky to have in your eyes, I'm sure that there are a lot of things you have to be thankful for as well. Try to focus not on the things you may not have, but the things that you can enjoy doing from day to day.

It's super easy to focus on what we don't have, and it's a challenge to realize all of the things that we're lucky to have. Try to write down all of the things you know you're lucky to have, and every part of yourself that you're proud of. When you're feeling this way, grab that list and remind yourself that you are in fact lucky to be have the life that you're living, and you're lucky to be who you are. Everyone needs a bit of a reminder every once in awhile, right?

If going on facebook has been depressing you for awhile now, take a bit of a break from using your facebook for awhile, there's nothing wrong with that. I know that you're a good person, Jamie, even if you don't always realize it yourself.
If you ever need to talk, you have my MSN, and you can PM me anytime.
*Hugs* Hang in there.





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: FaceBook - Gets me upset. - July 13th 2009, 04:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_me_again View Post
I looked on facebook, another gorgeous person whom I knee from high school. It seems like everyone went on without me....they grew up into beautilf young ladies, i grew up into an ugly duckling.....fuck me....im ugly and fat...
I don't use Facebook but don't people only post pictures of memorable memories and not sadness? They look "gorgeous" because of that. So really, I don't think that they are that important. Looks aren't everything.

As for the uglyness, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Who cares? It's better to be with few close friends who don't say things behind your back, then with people who are "friends" (think: popular stereotype) but turn on you instantly.

Fat is OK. I have a bit of a big belly, I burned it off by walking in the city four an hour a day. Try it and enjoy the buildings. It might help.


Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_me_again View Post
...I dont have them as my friends anymore., obviously coz of my mental state.
You shouldn't say that without solid proof. Maybe they abandoned you because they were concerned what people think of them - a sign of a fake friend who you can't count on.


Quote:
Originally Posted by i_am_me_again View Post
Sorry for being stupid.
No, this post is not stupid. You are only asking a question. A real stupid thing would be to bully others.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Concrete Girl View Post
I left school in the middle of the year this past school year, as I was being bullied and felt extremely depressed at school, and I've seen pictures from their little graduation ceremony, all of them talking about how much they're going to miss each other, and I've never been a part of all of that.


I seen that in my yearbooks. The grad class comments on how high school brought them good memories. I try to remember anything remotely similar to that but I can only remember being verbally assaulted. (I think the word bully is overused.) I believe most of it is for looks though. The jerks might say they miss each other because they have nobody else to laugh at after high school. I haven't graduated yet though, so remember that I am only speculating and not commenting from experience.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Concrete Girl View Post
What matters is that there are a lot of things in your life that you're lucky to have, just as they are.
Agreed. Who cares about the past? Look forward to the future. As for the present, be thankful you have what you have. I am assuming that if you went to high school, and can post on the internet here, you probably are from some rich country like the US or UK. In that case, you are a lot better off than some guy in a poor country who is starving to death in the midst of a war. Just be thankful you are alive with these luxuries, that not everybody has.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
cherryqueen1248 Offline
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Re: FaceBook - Gets me upset. - July 17th 2009, 11:41 PM

i know EXACTLY how you feel!! the only thing you really can do is not put yourself down, because that just makes things worse. self confidence is really key and if you believe in yourself, people will see that you believe in yourself and you'll appear that way too! you've got to love yourself and calling yourself ugly isn't that, i'm sure your not though because everyone is beautiful in their own ways. keep your chin up and dont let anyone push you down!! good luck!
   
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