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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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cassie.x Offline
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Social Life back? - July 13th 2009, 01:45 PM

Hey guys.

As weird as this post sounds, i need help on getting my social life back!

I'll explain a little bit better;
I DO have friends, but not as many as i used to, and most of them have became enemies or aquentancies over the past few months.
I only have three friends that i can rely on for everything.
Two of them are a year or so younger, So they can't go pubbing or whatever i usually do. And they have there own social circle of people they hang with from school, And the other one is friends with people i stopped talking to a long time ago when i moved in with my now ex.
She's the one i hang out with most.. And i'll hear she's hanging out with all these people and having parties etc, and she doesn't invite me.
I do feel kinda left out and hurt, but, i know i can't hang out with her all the time, she'll get fed up and i'll push her away..

As for all my college friends, they came over from a diffrent country and theyv'e now went home... I split up with my BF so i can't hang out with him or his friends anymore..

But i am a friendly nice person, i love meeting new people etc.
I'd like to have a bigger social circle again, and have people make an effort with me, ask me to do this and that, so i have options of what to do!

Sounds really silly, i know..
But thanks to anyone who does reply.

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glittermist Offline
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Re: Social Life back? - July 15th 2009, 11:48 AM

Hey Danni.
I'm going through something similar atm. It seems like everyone's drifted away from me, but are still socialising with eachother. It really hurts and sucks, i'm always hearing about what everyone else has got up to and it makes me feel so lonely and pathetic.
I know i'm probably NOT helping you in the slightest but i just want you to know that you're not alone, really. Plenty of others have a hard time socalising. I feel like a social outcast most of the time as i'm really awkward and shy; and just when i thought i FELT i had a decent set of friends; things just get weird and they drift from me, and i make SO much effort but it gets thrown back in my face.

Is there anything going on in your local area; activity wise? Perhaps you could join a dance club, tennis club, art club...ect? I'm sure there's bound to be something you can do in order to start meeting new people. As it's the summer holidays now for some of us, it can be difficult meeting new people as all the 'school' stuff has finished for a while - but try and get yourself out there. Perhaps find a job, or do some work experience; and you never know who you may end up meeting. I'm trying to get some work experience atm; but so far..not very good =/ Oh well, never give up, just keep on trying i say!

<3 best of luck to you

& it's just like she's in another world.

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Re: Social Life back? - July 15th 2009, 02:26 PM

I'd say if it is possible, you should try to strengthen your current friendships. Get to know your other friends a little more. If they do not let you get involved in their lives, would they really be great friends to have anyway? I think if you strengthen your relationships with these people, you should be able to meet other people in their circle of friend's. Something small like that shouldn't bother them too much, and sometimes you can meet some great people.

If you really do want to meet new friends, it's good that you like to meet new people. Personally, I've met most of my friends through school activities, and extra-curricular things outside of school. I met a couple of friends where I work, and I'm sure if you have a job, it could be fairly easy to make friends with coworkers.

Just continue being friendly, and continue being yourself and you should have no problem getting some good friends.

(p.s. Sometimes having more friends can be a bad thing. It's fine to have lots of friends but you should keep a few really close.)
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Shannon Offline
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Re: Social Life back? - July 16th 2009, 03:26 AM

So, this might be terrible advice on my part, but just talk and be sociable with everyone, even people you don't feel horribly fond of, because the biggest way you make friends is through other friends. A lot of kids these days are into the whole "Whee, I'm so random, talking to some random person" thing, so if there's a casual way to do so, you can go ahead and talk to whoever's around.

Another thing, I don't know if you're the type of person that feels casual going to places on your own, but I'm definately not, and it's always easiest for me to socialize with random people when I'm already with another friend. This will benefit you in two ways--1. If it doesn't go particularly well, that's okay, you don't have to feel awkward because you're with someone already anyway. 2. If they talk to both you and your friend, both social groups are likely to merge at some point or another.

There are things that are easy to go to alone, and then other things that are harder. A movie, for example, is a bit awkward to go to by yourself because everyone kind of goes in their little cliques usually and each little clique sits a few seats apart from eachother and there's not really a chance to just talk to whoever's around. However, something like a concert or a club is not too awkward if you're by yourself, because that's the sort of thing people often do just so they can socialize with other people.

The biggest thing is, you can make friends in the randomest places, so don't put anything out of the question. I was once walking around late-ish at night, and I just randomely decided to say "Hi" to two girls passing by on the road, and we ended up hanging out for like two hours (you do have to be careful about "strangers" though LOL).

Anyway, just be you, and friends will find you at some point
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