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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Shannon Offline
The Awesome-ist.
Regular TeenHelper
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Name: Shannon
Gender: Depends on the weather.

Posts: 461
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Red face I think I'm ready to be done with this girl - July 26th 2009, 06:16 AM

This is long, I'm sorry. And also, I dont know how many cuss words I threw around, I'm sorry if it was too many because it's one in the morning and I'm too tired to read through it all again, so srry.

I met her three years ago, on a sports team. I thought "Man, she is awesome," and I was sad after season ended that I wouldn't see her anymore. But then I switched schools two years ago, and I did see her again! We got to be really close friends, and a year later, we started dating. She's been closer to me than anyone has ever since, even after we broke up. And I was there for her all last year, through drama with her Mom and with her family and everything. She has "sort of" been there for me.

But here is how it went: She began acting rudely to me a few months ago. Just, generally, she has been rude to me. So naturally I told her she was acting like a bitch. She said she knew she was, she was sorry, and I said it was okay. But it didn't subside. She would always blow me off for her sister or her boyfriend, and I can understand sort of, but at the same time, it was constantly, like she couldn't make any time for me if there was anything else she could be doing. So I responded by being a bitch to her as well, but keep in mind, all the while, we were pretending nothing was wrong. Once we finally addressed the problem that we were having with eachother, we both took more blame than the other and just agreed to "work on it". But she just kept right on being a bitch to me--if I was lucky enough to get invited to do something with her, it was with her and her boyfriend, and they would basically ignore me and then act offended when I left, and otherwise, she blew me off. So finally, I blew up at her. I told her that the problem with us was that she was being a bitch to me, and that if she would just stop it, then I wouldn't act so pissy with her all the time. We kind of acted like it didn't happen for a while until I told her I was sorry and explained that I'd been having some pretty bad mental issues lately (which I really had) and that I had a lot of other stress in my life. Then, she went ahead and talked to my other good friend about me, saying I was a condescending, hypocritical bitch, and that all my mental problems were my fault. Initially, I said "Screw this, I'm done with her" but I just couldn't make myself give up on someone that's been so important to me for so long. So I thoroughly apologized to her, and tried to make things better again, after she was talking sh*t about me. She proceeded to talk about me with the same friend (who she should have known would tell me everything), and sent me a fucking text message of all things that said I had changed for the worse and that I was depressing to be around. It's the last part that got me--I have been there for this girl always when she was crying, she has never really been there for me, and this one time when things are really getting bad, she just tells me I'm depressing.

So the next day when she sees me in person, she acts all nervous, much less balls-ey in person. I just tell her that we can either stop talking to eachother for good or stop talking to eachother for a few weeks and see if that helps things. We went with the latter, and things did get better for a while. Anyway, she acted all excited over some plans we had made to meet up, and then she blew me off, yet again. So I just went to another friend's house, had a much better time than I would have with her, and she calls me up, I tell her I'm at a friend's house *hintety hint hint*, and she proceeds to tell me how the friend she had been talking shit about me to didn't have any interest left in her. Boo fucking hoo. So she called me a few days ago, and I just got to calling her back today coz my cell's been turned off, but I was relevantly friendly to her. She was telling me about random stuff, and mentioned that she couldn't stay at home because of her dad's job so she had to stay at her aunt's place. So here's what I'm guessing: She's responding to me ignoring her because our other friend is done with her because she has one less back-up, and she wants a place to stay that isn't her aunt's house.

And the big thing is, I don't feel confident in trying to win her over anymore because she's basically a transformed person, one that I don't much care for. You know how when you are good friends with someone you overlook a bunch of things about them, and then once you fight, you notice all sorts of stupid things they do? That's what's happening. She's not even her to me anymore, she just seems stupid, idiotic, ungrateful, bitter, bitchey, whore-ey, and unbeleivable two-faced and fake. I just want to be done with her. I want more than anything to cuss her out violently, but I'd hate to burn any important bridges, so I won't do that, but does it sound like I'm on grounds to just ignore her from now on? If she was apologetic, genuinely, for any of it, I would definately feel differently because it's not hard for me to forgive, but seeing as she isn't apologetic at all, I'm so tired of her just hurting me for no reason, and I just feel like she's going to use me up until I'm dry if I don't cut this thing off already.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lilangel! Offline
Speeding through life
Average Joe
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Name: Hannah
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: Leeds, Yorkshire, England

Posts: 126
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: I think I'm ready to be done with this girl - July 26th 2009, 11:09 AM

hey Shannon,
you deserve it!! im so sorry youve been going throuh this
thats a tough thing your going through, im glad to hear that you still have your other close friend (who sounds like a very good friend).
its good to see that your not sure if you want to stay friends or not. it sounds like youve tried a few times to mend your friendship and it hasnt worked because of her. it would be a shame for you not to remain friends after being so close for so long. however, if she is always like this, i wouldnt blame you for not being her friend.
i think not talking to each other for a while was a good idea and it seemed to work for a bit. maybe you could sit down with just you and her in a private place and talk about everything thats gone on with you two. maybe this will bring to the surface what has caused this fight between you. if this happens, you might be able to fix the problems and stay friends.
it seems a shame for you two to stop being friends as youve been so close for so long. however, people do drift apart, especially as they grow up.
its out of order for her to say those things about your mental issues, it is not your fault and as your supposed friend she should be supporting you.
i know youve already spoken to her about your issues together, but i think thats the only way to fix things. if your both honest with each other and you both want to remain friends, i think you will. all you can do is try and if she doesnt want to then there is something seriously wrong with her because you sound great
i hope ive helped, PM me if theres anything else i can do or if you want someone to listen
i hope you can sort this out
Hannah X

"He who does not weep, does not see" - Les Miserables.

keep reaching and living your lives. you are who you are.

PM me whenever and ill do my best to help!

Im here if you ever need anyone to talk to or to have someone to listen to you
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