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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
anon_user Offline
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Issues with my mom - July 27th 2009, 06:15 PM

Me: 15 year old, male

Hi there,
My mom and dad have never had a very good relationship, it's been that way for a very long time. My sister has been out of the house for quite a while now, since I was little, so I'm the only other person in the household. I'm positive that they are only staying together until I'm in/out of college - and then they'll get a divorce, and frankly it wouldn't bother me that much...

Now then, every summer my dad, my sister, and I go to visit relatives in Tennessee, my aunt (her wife) and my cousin (2 years younger, female). We were on said trip this summer from 2 Saturdays ago until this past Saturday. When we returned home, my mom wasn't talkative at all, she was pretty much ignoring us. Yesterday was no better, I think she said one thing to me the whole day.

That brings me to this morning. My mom leaves for a doctor's appointment, so I wake up at 11 or so, get ready and go downstairs to chill in my basement. She returns around 1, and asks me why I didn't eat (I wasn't hungry blah blah), so I go upstairs to get some food and find a note from her on the counter. This is the note:

Quote:
<MY NAME>,
Have lunch. Turkey is in the drawer.

<ILLEGIBLE SCRIBBLE>[Assuming "I am"?]
Disappointed with you and him[my dad]. You can't talk to one another? I am tired of trying to keep things going around here. No one listens when I talk. No one cares.

If I mention anything to him, he yells and says I am always nagging. Had enough.
If I am admitted, I will call you. If not, I'll be home later.

XOXO

Get trash out of basement.
So I'm reading this note, when I finish she starts going on about how she's tired of no one being nice (apparently when I called her on the trip, I didn't want to talk to her? Wish I'd known I hadn't...). So she starts telling me she's done talking, she won't be getting me up in the morning, she'll just do what she normally does around the house. She says she tired of it, I really didn't know how to respond - I tried telling her I was sorry, I was. I was really confused at the whole "I could tell you didn't want to talk to me" thing, and it was overall the most confusing moment of my life. She actually said I'm free to do whatever I want to do for the rest of the summer, my plan is to set my alarm for 7:30, get up and shower, eat fruit and go for a run (things I've never done because I'm generally unhealthy, but I'm not fat, but want to get in better shape).

Seriously, I'm beyond confused right now. Is there any way I can make this right? I know my plan to wake up and get in shape is probably not what she's expecting, but I'm free to what I want, so I might as well.

I guess I just want to know if something like this has every happened to you, is this a stage that women go through when they get older (mood swings and shit), is this some kind of permanent thing, or is it going to dissolve naturally? I suppose this kind of situation is too specific for anyone to offer any real insight into it, but some support would be nice. I don't really have any place to vent and 2PM is too early for my friends to up and I don't think any of them would particularly care.


Please help,
anon

EDIT: I think I should clarify by saying I might not necessarily want to make up with her at the moment, this is a great opportunity for me to make some changes in my life that I would never even have had a chance at with her (because I'm a pussy and can't stand up for myself and what I want). Although this seems like a bad situation, its not the worst thing that ever happened to me, its just the most confusing.

Last edited by anon_user; July 27th 2009 at 06:16 PM. Reason: Clarifying
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
lilangel! Offline
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Name: Hannah
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Re: Issues with my mom - July 27th 2009, 08:20 PM

hi anon,
firstly, i think your mum was out of order to say that and treat you that way. she should be the one supporting you and helping you out, not expecting you to do those things for her.
its possible that your mum is going through the menopause(sp??) which is a very bad thing for any woman to go through - she is aging and her hormones are changing frantically and she has psycho mood swings and such. most women experience this around 45-55ish but can really vary from person to person.
i dont blame you for being confused, i would be to be honest. and i also dont blame you for not wanting to make up with her and for wanting to use this moment to improve your own life in your own ways.
i would talk to her though. if she is experiencing the menopause then it is pretty common for women to get depressed and you guys going away for a week didnt help, even though she didnt say anything.
i think you should talk to her in a few days and let her calm down a bit. you need to be honest with her and say that your worried about her and want to help. she will appreciate your concerns and worries and wanting to help.
hope you can sort it all out
PM me if i can help anymore or if you want someone to listen to you
Hannah X


"He who does not weep, does not see" - Les Miserables.

keep reaching and living your lives. you are who you are.

PM me whenever and ill do my best to help!

Im here if you ever need anyone to talk to or to have someone to listen to you
   
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