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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Marli Mint Offline
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Thumbs down My friend keeps picking on me about my developement - July 31st 2009, 05:36 AM

I'm probably over-reacting, but this has been bugging me. My friend, Alex, is tall,She's pretty, and she's got all the developement aspects. (I only know this because she's comfortable with changing clothes in the same room with me as long as the most I see is an accidental 2-second look.) I'm not. I'm short, I'm the opposite of pretty, and I'm flat-chested. I have really low self-esteem, and I hate the fact that I don't have breasts or that I have as much puberty aspects as a 10-year old. I wear a bra because I have to. If I didn't, my small pecks of breats would be showing their aspects. ^^
The thing is, she constantly picks at this. I don't think she realizes she does it, though. For example, two days ago I slept at her house. I wasn't planning on sleeping over, I was just going to her house, but it started storming really badly and she wanted me to stay. That means I had no extra clothes or anything. We ended up being really bored, and being the odd people we are, we dressed up in fancy outfits and sung karaoke. The dress I picked out had spaghetti straps on it and I couldn't wear my bra with it. Later that night she says in a weird voice, " It's not like you need it, anyways." I know that it's not an insult and she probably didn't mean it the way I took it, but it bothered me. There have been other times that she has picked about the fact I've barely started puberty, but I just act like it doesn't bother me. Am I over-reacting? How can I talk to her about it without her getting mad? I'm afraid since she doesn't realize she does it that she might get upset.
Oh, and I didn't say anything describing or use real names because I don't know the rules about that. It's not because i'm immature or anything.


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can it be
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Re: My friend keeps picking on me about my developement - July 31st 2009, 06:08 AM

well your not overreacting, this is something that you are not comfortable with and she should know. everyone goes through puberty at a different time. if she is a good friend of yours and you talk to her about it without getting angry she should understand how you feel.


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Re: My friend keeps picking on me about my developement - July 31st 2009, 07:42 PM

Hi there,

I think your friend should know that this is a touchy subject for you and she shouldn't bring it up, but it could be that this is something she really feels comfortable talking about and doesn't know that you feel differently.

If your friend makes another comment, just tell her that you don't like it when she says things like that and you would rather talk about something else. If she is your friend, then she should respect you and move on.

Everyone starts puberty at a different age, and just because she is more developed now doesn't mean that you should be the same way. Just give yourself some time and try not to compare yourself with other people. You are perfect just the way you are.

Despite her comments, it does sound like your friend isn't trying to be mean to you. Just let her know that it really bothers you when she says those kinds of things and ask her to stop. I'm sure she'll listen.

Take care.
Nat.


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Re: My friend keeps picking on me about my developement - July 31st 2009, 08:02 PM

i definitly suggest talking to your friend about it. you're right, she probably doesn't realize that she does this and doesn't want to hurt you. just tell her how you feel, politely of course and ask her to stop making snide comments about your development. everyone hits puberty at a different time. there some kids (though it's rare) that hit puberty when they are 9 or even 8, and there are some girl that don't even get their period until they're 17 or 18. i hit puberty early, and got my first period at age 11. so let your body take its time, it's perfectly natural.
   
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Re: My friend keeps picking on me about my developement - July 31st 2009, 10:38 PM

Okay, thanks guys. I'll talk to her the next time she makes a comment about it.


Look at me
I will never pass for a perfect bride
Or a perfect daughter


can it be
I'm not meant to play this part?
Now I see
That if I were truly
To be myself
I would break my family's heart ♥


   
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Re: My friend keeps picking on me about my developement - July 31st 2009, 11:27 PM

I think you should tell her that it's a touchy subject for you...Just sit her down and talk to her and you say she's a friend she should understand...I was an early receiver of "the period" but a little late on the boobs part (didn't get them until about three years later). It'll come but be patient but in the meantime you don't need to be reminded of something you're self conscious about.


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