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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Twisted Offline
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I've gone off going out. - August 2nd 2009, 08:35 PM

I don't know what it is, but for a few months now, since around the time i turned 18 in March. I've gone off going out massively, by going out i mean going to clubs and bars and doing general night-life things. And it's not that i don't enjoy myself when i do go out because i usually always have an awesome time and i'm usually with my best friends. It's just that they go out pretty much every week sometimes multiple times a week. And i used to be like that as well but all of a sudden i've just gone off it and sometimes even once a week is too much.

I don't mind drinking, in fact i enjoy it most of the time. But i don't really enjoy getting dressed up and wearing heels (i know some people would say don't wear heels but i'm so short i would feel ridiculous if i wore flats especially if everyone else i'm with is in heels.. lame i know). My feet end up killing me and at the end of the night i'm usually walking in bare feet carrying my shoes in my hand. I enjoy having a dance and stuff, and in general i do have a good time. But i would much rather just stay at home and chill out, watch tv, play video games etc. I don't know what's wrong with me, i feel like the only reason i agree to going out is because i don't want my friends to feel like i don't want to spend time with them or i would rather be with my boyfriend than them.

I don't know, i guess the night-life scene just isn't for me. At least not all the time, i would rather go to a pub with a few people, or go round to someone's house to drink. I dunno what it is really. We were in Blackpool last weekend, we went out clubbing every night, which was ok because we were only there for 3 nights and wanted to make the most of it. I'm not the hugest fan of dressing up and on the second night i couldn't be bothered to do anything drastic to my hair so i just put it in a high ponytail, it still looked presentable, in my opinion anyway. But one of my friends started moaning at me asking me why i'm not putting as much effort into getting ready. I just didn't feel like it, i don't know if its just because i don't really go out to impress or what, i'm just not a huge spend 3hours getting ready type of person. I don't really wear much make-up when i go out but i wear enough, and usually i just have my hair down and straight.

Am i weird, i'm 18 years old i'm in my 'partying prime' but i'm going on like a middle aged woman who's just come in from a hard days work and all she wants to do is sit in front of the telly. Sometimes i feel really boring doing that but if i don't want to go out i can't help it, right? I feel like i've grown up too fast or something. And i've started making excuses to my friends as to why i can't go out, usually ones involving money (like i don't have any etc) and i do feel bad because its sorta like i'm lying because if i say i don't feel like it they might take it the wrong way.

Don't get me wrong we do do other things together, we go to the cinema and out for food and stuff quite a lot but when it comes to clubbing i sort of let them down a lot.

Sorry for the rambelling in this post, it's hard for me to get my thoughts down in an organized way so it's a bit all over the place. Also i'm not sure if this is in the right section either. But thanks for reading and any replies would be appreciated.
   
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Re: I've gone off going out. - August 5th 2009, 03:14 AM

Hey Nat.

If partying isn't your thing, you don't need to party. Just because your friends like the nightlife doesn't mean you have to! Like you said, you are still spending time with them.

I don't think it's letting them down to stay home when you're tired, and I don't think you should lie about it. (They will probably just be upset when they find out the truth.) The next time they want you to go to a club with them and you don't feel like it, just say you're not up for it.

I think it was kind of rude of your friend to whine about you not "putting effort in." It's your decision what you do with your hair, makeup, and clothes. Not anyone else's.

If you're really not going out just because heels are really uncomfortable but you don't want to go to clubs when you're not wearing them, is it really necessary? I know being shorter than your friends can be annoying, but if you end up walking barefoot by the end of the night, what's the point? Have you ever tried wearing flats?

Don't worry about the rambling-- we all do that sometimes!

Hope I helped a little bit...PM me any time.
   
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Re: I've gone off going out. - August 5th 2009, 04:23 AM

Hey,

I don't think there is anything wrong with this; the thing is that as people get older they grow out of wanting to go to night clubs and what not it loses its glamour or what not. As for you acting like an old lady in your partying prime I think it all depends; some people enjoy partying at 18, 19 etc and some people would rather hang out at home or what not.

If you don't enjoy partying don't force yourself to do it because you should be enjoying life. Maybe you should try talking to your friends and explain to them that right now clubbing isn't for you and you just want to chill at home; communication is the only way you are going to make them understand.

I hope this helped and best of luck. If you need anything feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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Re: I've gone off going out. - August 5th 2009, 02:07 PM

That sounds totally normal. (I'm not going to be able to express this post very well due to my slightly hungover state but I'll give it a go )
Don't feel guilty for not wanting to go out that much. Some people just aren't muchly into the whole clubbing scene, and I totally agree with the effort it takes to get ready (as well as trying to find something DIFFERENT to wear each time ) Sometimes the idea of going all the way into town for a night out sounds so unappealing and I'd well prefer just to curl up on the sofa with a book or a movie and plenty of yummy unhealthy food.
Don't you think you could explain to your friends? I'm sure they'd understand, and especially if you explain that you're still happy to come out with them a fair bit, but maybe just not every time. It might save the guilty feeling of having to make excuses.
   
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