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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Silverxy Offline
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Imposing on my friends - August 2nd 2009, 11:26 PM

Okay, so I have two very good friends, but they're older than I am. And when I try to make plans with them, if I'm the one spear-heading them, I feel really weird, like I'm imposing on them and being too pushy. But I want to be able to hang out with my friends! Any ideas here?
   
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Re: Imposing on my friends - August 2nd 2009, 11:33 PM

well I used to feel this way alot with my older cousin. a couple of good ways to handle it are, saying "hey give me a call and mabye we can get together this weekend" or just being completly straightforward and asking if they really wanna hang ou tor if they're just doing so out of obligation.


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Re: Imposing on my friends - August 3rd 2009, 01:34 AM

Hi Tori,

I know you are concerned about imposing on your friends, but I wouldn't worry about it to much. They are your friends and they do still like hanging out with you, so it shouldn't matter if you are the one organizing the get together. Maybe they even like it when you plan for all of you to hang out.

If you really can't shake the feeling that you are imposing, then maybe try to make plans with your friends instead of just inviting them somewhere. Ask them where they would like to go and get their help in calling other people to come. If you are all planning together, then it wont feel like you are forcing people to come.

Try to keep an open communication with your friends. That way, if they have a problem with you making plans, they will say something about it. As it is right now, just do your best not to worry and keep hanging out with your friends because it doesn't seem like they have a problem.

Take care.
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Re: Imposing on my friends - August 3rd 2009, 01:44 AM

Thanks for the advice guys
   
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Re: Imposing on my friends - August 3rd 2009, 02:13 AM

Yeah i used to feel this way about my friends with cars, i used to feel like i was imposing on them just because they could take me places, i would feel so awlful that i would force them to take gas money, but finally that changed when the cornered me and told me that i was there friend and undrstood my busy schedual, they said that they were happy to do it because it was few far inbetween when i could see them without having to be somewhere for someone, so they liked being a part of my busy life. but what im getting at is you should talk to them about it. get all card on the table and see what they are feeling.


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Re: Imposing on my friends - August 3rd 2009, 02:24 AM

Thanks guys I just talked to one of them about it and am feeling a little better about it all, though the feeling still won't completely go away.
   
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