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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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BroadwayJunkie Offline
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Unhappy I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 3rd 2009, 04:50 PM

Okay so I'm out of a job right now and so is my mom but at least she's turnin 50 in three days so she'll be officially considered a senior citizen. She'll get more benefits and possibly collect unemployment. She'll be getting more benefits than I am. I'm only 21 years old and jobless....I feel like a loser as it is but when I confront her about my problems, she only makes me feel even more like a loser. My sister never paid rent but I have to even though I dont have a job. My best friend Mischa lives with me and he pays rent too (which I can understand they charge him for rent cause he's not related to us) but still....I mean, me? she knows I'm broke. She knows the economy has gone down to pieces.

Lets just leave out the details of the argument and it just ended with me threatening to live in my best friend's car and she just said, "Fine. Go ahead. If thats what you want" and I said, "actually mom, no. Its what YOU want" and she says (and this is what hurt the most) "I dont care what you do anymore. You're gonna do what you wanna do. Go live in a car and get raped for all I care" and I just started crying.

I really think my mom just doesn't love me anymore....I haven't cried THIS hard since I was seven years old....any advice? I cant talk to her. Its like talking to a brick wall...
   
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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 3rd 2009, 05:13 PM

The economy is bad right now, but you should still be able to get a job, even if its at a mcdonalds. your not a failure, you still have plenty of time to get one. once you do though, mabye it would be best to move out. not into a car but mabye at a friends and pay rent there. She could also be upset that a boy is living with you and taking it out this way.


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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 3rd 2009, 05:46 PM

Well the boy living here is gay and so am I so its not much that she cares about that its just that she's a miserable alcoholic who takes out her anger and frustration on me. I know its just the alcohol talking but that still doesnt change the fact that it still hurts ya know? I know the economy is bad. PA especially is terrible right now but I heard that some retail jobs will be opening up in the next month or so....I took all the birthday money I had and threw it in her face cause Friday was my 21st. People think that because I wanna be rich and famous is shallow and selfish when really, I just wanna be financially stable and help my mom come out of her $25,000 of debt...
   
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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 3rd 2009, 08:58 PM

You're right that was the alchohol talking and though they still hurt, she doesnt mean them. She still loves you but what you need to do to earn her respect is to get a job and either support your family or move out. Justt keep trying.


"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 3rd 2009, 10:42 PM

I agree with Alli. Alcohol tends to make it difficult to control your emotions, which can cause a misdirection of anger.

My advice would be to go out and try to get a job. It's hard, and the economy's down, but it seems that it would be best for you to gain independence. Even if you have to take a minimum wage job, it's better than having no income at all.
   
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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 4th 2009, 05:56 PM

That's just IT though, I've been looking....I've called all the jobs I've applied to back after a week when I applied and they say, "sorry we aren't hiring. Only taking applications" (and everyone knows that that means....) Its like I've been looking for a job nonstop. I dont know what to do...if I cant find a job, I'm so scared she'll kick me and my best friend out and we'll have NOWHERE to go except his car =(
   
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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 5th 2009, 02:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BroadwayJunkie View Post
That's just IT though, I've been looking....I've called all the jobs I've applied to back after a week when I applied and they say, "sorry we aren't hiring. Only taking applications" (and everyone knows that that means....) Its like I've been looking for a job nonstop. I dont know what to do...if I cant find a job, I'm so scared she'll kick me and my best friend out and we'll have NOWHERE to go except his car =(
Maybe you could try odd jobs like babysitting, yard work, etc.? Have you tried searching around on the internet for job opportunities in your area? Want ads in the newspaper?

I'm sorry about your situation; wish I could help more. :\

EDIT: careerbuilder.com lets you search for job opportunities by location...maybe give that a try?
   
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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 6th 2009, 02:23 AM

Hey there,

I am so sorry about your situation but please hang in there because something will work out. My brother was in a similar situation; couldn't find a job and finally he found one. Basically, right now, its a waiting game; I know this sucks but wait, be patient and be persistent. The places that say they are only taking applications, give them your application anyway; what could it hurt to know that they have your application on file? (My brother did this as well and would occasionally get a call back)

Careerbuilder.com is a good website to go too; my brother used that continuosly. Look at it every once in a while and maybe you will find something.

As for your mom; try to ignore her and don't worry too much about getting kicked out because if you stress too much over the what if's you will get overwhelmed. Take it one day at a time.

Maybe you and your friend could start looking into places to stay just in case your mom does get it into her head that she wants to kick you out. If you have a back up place to stay(another friends or family members?) you won't be completely messed up if she does kick you out.

Also, alcohol does make a person's behavior change and they sometimes say and do things that make you feel like crap; things they don't mean. So please try not to take the hurtful things your mom says to heart(I know its hard).

I hope this helped and best of luck. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to pm me.

~Jenna~


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Re: I think my mom doesnt love me anymore - August 6th 2009, 02:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeautifulDisaster1819 View Post
Basically, right now, its a waiting game; I know this sucks but wait, be patient and be persistent. The places that say they are only taking applications, give them your application anyway; what could it hurt to know that they have your application on file?
^ I second this!
   
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