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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Slick447 Offline
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Question Telling the Family my Religious beliefs - August 6th 2009, 04:21 AM

Ok so let me try and make this short. I was brought up a Christian. My entire family are Christians and we go to church every Sunday. No one in my family is really majorly into Christianity. As long as they go to church and say a prayer every now and then they're fine. I'm 18 now and about to move off to college in a couple weeks. For the past year or so I was questioning the religion I was brought up in. I've finally settled on calling myself an Apatheist. Basically I don't know whether God(s) exist, but nevertheless I feel the question doesn't matter and the answer isn't meanigful or relevant to my life.

However I can't tell my family. My brother and father may be kind of upset, but my mom would be crushed. She is the one most adamant about going to church and made us say a prayer on the way to school every morning when we were kids. Months ago my bestfriend told my mom he's an Atheist and after they were through talking he told me he just drove to a parking lot and cried. Mostly just because he thought she would be understanding of it.

Anyways I think I'll move off to college and not say anything about it. Then way in the future if they ever question me why I dont go to church or whatever I'll just let them know. I just dont want to tell them and have that be all they think about the last few weeks I'm living with them. What do you guys think?
   
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Re: Telling the Family my Religious beliefs - August 7th 2009, 03:32 PM

I happen to have this problem.

I would not openly try to make it known you don't believe, just because of your mothers deep rooted faith. But then again, if you do tell your family later, you may have to go through the whole, 'You've been lying to us?' Then again, I don't know your family.

This is a rough thing for family members. My advice would be, stay calm about and don't try to force any ideas or anti- points of views, though parants claim to be accepting, it isn't always immediate, especially when in this situation they just want the best for you.

There is nothing wrong with your beliefs and if they can't accept that, or it does crush your mother as you said, don't let it bring you down, it's just how it is for a while.

I wish you luck, my friend.


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Re: Telling the Family my Religious beliefs - August 18th 2009, 06:16 PM

The love of a parent for her child should surpass all the social, cultural, religious, and financial complexities of our civilization.

On a more serious note, you don't have to tell anyone anything about what you believe unless you wish to share it with them. If I were you, I would just go about my day and not say anything that need not be said. If your parents happiness is important to you, I would simply go to church and lie as best I could. Your actions should reflect your beliefs, and if you believe that the happiness of your parents is more important than the expression of your beliefs then go to church and don't let your mother know you believe something else. On the other hand if the expression of your beliefs is more important than how your parents feel, I would confront them on the matter or wait until your parents inquire about it.
   
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