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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Angry My cousin's ex boyfriend?! - August 11th 2009, 04:30 AM

I wasn't sure if it was supposed to go here or in Relationships & Dating...but

I like my cousin's ex boyfriend, but they only dated for a week, just to find out that they're better freinds then bf gf, so they broke up. They're still best friends, and hang out ALL the time. Well, a few times I was over her house to hang out with her sister(me and my cousin I'm talking about aren't very close) her best friend was there, and I kind of like him. The cousin I'm close to always says that he's ALWASY talking about me, and seems like he likes me. So, today on facebook, we were flirting, but we were kidding a little bit. So, he says to me, "I see your single ;D" and my cousin commented on his comment and said, "STOP." But I replied to him anyway. He didn't reply to me though, even though he was online! I'm really mad at my cousin, and I don't think she has any right to be mad at me, since she's over him. If she were to tell me she DOESN'T like me, then I'd back off, but she keeps telling me she doesn't like!!! So, am I wrong for liking her ex and acting on it?! Should I tell her I'm mad at her for making him stop?! Arghhhh I'm just so aggrivated!
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Re: My cousin's ex boyfriend?! - August 11th 2009, 02:57 PM

Course you're not wrong. :]
You cannot help who you are attracted to. It's nature.

Have a proper chat with your cousin about her feelings for this fella, explain that you like him and although you are aware they are very good friends you would like to get closer to him.

She's perhaps concerned that letting another woman get close to him will taint their friendship.
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Re: My cousin's ex boyfriend?! - August 11th 2009, 04:01 PM

As Charlotte said, you can't really help who you're attracted to. It seems like your cousin is a bit jealous and does not know how to cope with that jealousy that she's experiencing right now. Just because this guy was online and didn't respond to you, doesn't necessarily mean that he's ignoring you. Sometimes people leave their computer on and whatnot when really, they're not at the computer and can't respond. Whatever you do, don't assume anything or jump to any conclusions.

Are you sure that your cousin is being serious about it? Could she perhaps be kidding around with him? He seems like he's influenced very easily if he is going to back off because of what your cousin is saying. She seems quite controlling. I'd suggest that you talk to your cousin about it - in a calm and mature manner. Tell her exactly how you feel, with regards to everything that is going on. Hear her side of things as well and eventually, try to come to a compromise.

This may not be the ideal way to handle things but unfortunately when you're in this kind of situation, a compromise is needed. You could also talk to the guy that you like as well. If he chooses to ignore you because of what your cousin said and your cousin refuses to tell him otherwise, leave it and move on. If they're going to both act immature like that, let them. There are plenty of other guys out there. Dealing with this is really not worth it, in my opinion, if you've went to great lengths to try and compromise with your cousin.

Good luck with everything.

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