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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
I-Love-him Offline
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i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 05:55 PM

i feel so down right now,i think i've finaly realised i'm just not made to have friends, today i saw one of my friends,she is 30 and she really upset me,i have a learning disability and i mentioned this to her but she laughed at me and said "know you don't!" i tried to explain it to her but she just wouldn't listen or believe me, i'm sick of this and then her friend took the mick out of me because i don't drink alcohol and i'm 17. the reason i don't drink alcohol is because my dad is a alcoholic and it kind of puts you off alcohol when you sit right next to your dad and watch him have a seizure when your about 9 or 10 years old. drink has ruined my life.but my friends friend wouldn't leave it alone,he kept asking me why until i shouted "it's non of your buisness is it????!!!!" i was so upset, my friend doesn't understand me or respect me anymore,she has changed,she always used to be there for me.

all together i have two friends,my best friend and my boyfriend. the lady i met up with today used to be my friend but after today i've decided i don't want her in my life anymore.i'm a very sensitive person and if you can't respect that then why be my friend?.
my boyfriend and other friend completly understands and respects the fact i have dyspraxia (learning disability) and that i don't drink, my boyfriend doesn't drink either .
i've realised i'm never going to have friends, i have terrible social skills, i do manage to speak to people and make friends but literaly as soon as they find out i don't drink, they completly abandon me. once i told some so called friends about my dad being an alcoholic and they just said "so what? still drink! just cos your dads killing himself doesn't mean you shouldnt drink" they just don't understand how hurtful it is for me. i hate drink and hate things to do with drink. soon after that the girls started going to parties and getting 'pissed', they completly left me out but to be fair i wouldn't have gone with them anyway,i can't go to parties,the atmosphere for me is too upsetting.

i'm kind of getting used to the fact i'm gonna have no friends in the future, i do like my own company and i love my boyfriends company. thing is, i can't rely on my boyfriend for my happiness, i just want to know is this healthy?? for me not to have any friends? yh ok i have two. i also want to know your opinion,am i being treated fairly?? i personaly don't think i am,i'm very mis understood and people should respect the fact i don't drink!
thanks for any help
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:04 PM

It is very cruel that people are judging you based on your decision not to drink. Some people just aren't worth being friends with. I'm that the friedns you do have love you though.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:08 PM

Hey there,
that wasn't nice of your friend to mock your disability, I'm sorry for that, but I suppose now you see that she's no friend. And yeah, I'm 17, and I dont drink, I've got enough going on with my body to put alcohol and that in the jumble. Drinking aint everything to be honest, and I'm sorry you saw your dad having a seizure, it must have been hard :/
I'm a sensitive person, so I know what it's like having people hurt you, and then how deep it hurts inside, and I agree with you, if you can't respect that fact, then why bother knowing them. As I said before, drinking aint everything, and again, I dont drink, I dont see the point in it to be honest. So I would never push anyone away for not drinking, or even drinking. My mate's go to parties and that, and I know what you mean about feeling left out and stuff. Like I noticed they didnt invite me out as much as before, but y'know what, that's up to them.
But to answer your questions. No. your not being treated fairly, if they are friends, they should understand and respect you for not wanting to drink, due to what you've been through.
Feel free to talk to me, I'm here for you ok
Take care
x
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:09 PM

Hi there!

I think that you need to have a different set of friends. Or you just need to explain to your friends very calmly about your situation and may be then you won't feel so misunderstood. But if they still don't respect your wishes...well, all I can say is that you should change them.

I wouldn't say that it is healthy to be without friends. Everyone needs friends or some company at least. I say make as many friends as possible. I can understand that you are not social but you should try to be. After all no man can be an island. Relying on just one or two persons is not enough because when that person leaves you, it just becomes so difficult to live each day. I know that because I am speaking from experience. So do make an effort to be social.

That's all I have to say. If I have said something wrong do let me know.

I hope everything works out for you.
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:09 PM

Your right on that. Having 2 close mates would be so much better then having so many and they dont realise who you even are. Your friend was out of order not believing you.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:13 PM

i'll be your friend (:


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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Staceyanne View Post
Hey there,
that wasn't nice of your friend to mock your disability, I'm sorry for that, but I suppose now you see that she's no friend. And yeah, I'm 17, and I dont drink, I've got enough going on with my body to put alcohol and that in the jumble. Drinking aint everything to be honest, and I'm sorry you saw your dad having a seizure, it must have been hard :/
I'm a sensitive person, so I know what it's like having people hurt you, and then how deep it hurts inside, and I agree with you, if you can't respect that fact, then why bother knowing them. As I said before, drinking aint everything, and again, I dont drink, I dont see the point in it to be honest. So I would never push anyone away for not drinking, or even drinking. My mate's go to parties and that, and I know what you mean about feeling left out and stuff. Like I noticed they didnt invite me out as much as before, but y'know what, that's up to them.
But to answer your questions. No. your not being treated fairly, if they are friends, they should understand and respect you for not wanting to drink, due to what you've been through.
Feel free to talk to me, I'm here for you ok
Take care
x
it's really nice to here of someone else who doesn't drink. i do feel very left out, even when i make friends and talk to them and hang out with them, they just completly ditch me when they find out i ddon't like drink, or they mock me about it, my best friend and my boyfriend never do that, they know how hurtful it is to me, so why can't everyone else understand?? why can't some people just realise that it's ok for some people not to drink?? and why did my friend not believe me about my learning disability?? why would i lie about that! i may pm you in a minute if you don't mind? thank you for replying.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rudnet View Post
Hi there!

I think that you need to have a different set of friends. Or you just need to explain to your friends very calmly about your situation and may be then you won't feel so misunderstood. But if they still don't respect your wishes...well, all I can say is that you should change them.

I wouldn't say that it is healthy to be without friends. Everyone needs friends or some company at least. I say make as many friends as possible. I can understand that you are not social but you should try to be. After all no man can be an island. Relying on just one or two persons is not enough because when that person leaves you, it just becomes so difficult to live each day. I know that because I am speaking from experience. So do make an effort to be social.

That's all I have to say. If I have said something wrong do let me know.

I hope everything works out for you.
well you kinda did say something wrong lol not in a bad way,you havent upset me or anything. but you said i should try be more social and get a different set of friends and it's un healthy to not have friends. thats the wrong thing, like i say, i do make friends,i do talk to people and i do mix with people but now everyone is growing up alcohol seems to be a very improtant part in peoples lives, i can't live with alcohol,i don't mind friends liking to drink but they seem to never wanna be my friend once they find out i don't drink. it's so hard,back in school i never had friends because i was shy and ugly (honestly they told me that! lol ) now i'm not shy but i have no friends purely because i don't drink.

thank you everyone for the replies and for the quick replies!. i'd love somemore opinions and such though please.
oh and one new question, tomorow i'm going out with my boyfriend to the cinema,his mate, cousin,brother and his brothers boyfriend are coming with us but after todays events i just feel to upset and vunerable to be in a social situation!,i want to go but if anyone was to ask me why i don't drink or something tmorow, thats it i'll just cry or scream and shout at them. so my question, should i go tomorow or not??
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Staceyanne Offline
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 06:23 PM

Yeah, dont worry, I'll be your friend
And yeah sure you can PM
x
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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm never going to have more than 2 friends. - August 18th 2009, 11:30 PM

I'm very friendly :] we shall be bestest pallys haha ;P
Forget about those people if theyre ditching you just cause you dont drink
thats so unbelievably stupid.
I, personally, do sometimes drink, not a lot though, I've stopped, besides the casual sip of beer here and there.
I have been drunk, but only a couple times.
I understand that you dont want to drink because your dads an alcohalic.. my grandfather was an alcoholic and I never got to meet him because of it.
it's sad, but true.
BUTTT on a happier note, IM HERE FOR YOU!!!! ;D <3
haha PM me anyyyyytime ;]


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