TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bitesize Offline
Member since April '07
Outside, huh?
**********
 
bitesize's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Ireland

Posts: 3,944
Blog Entries: 321
Join Date: January 7th 2009

We think one of our friends stole from us. - August 21st 2009, 06:18 PM

This is such an awkward situation.
I'm sorry, I'll try and keep this as short as possible, but it still might be a bit of a read. Please, please give any advice you can though...

My friend is minding the house (and dogs) of her friend for a week while the family is away. They trust her very well and she's allowed to have anyone over as long as we respect the house, obviously. Anyway, on Tuesday night she had six of us over for a few drinks ~ myself and our two other best friends, my boyfriend and two other guys that we've been good friends with for a year and have hung out with a million times. The three guys left at about four am and the four of us slept upstairs. The next afternoon we wanted to go to the shop for milk, and my friend went to her purse to get some of the €50 housekeeping money her friend's mum had left her...and it wasn't there.

She had briefly mislaid her purse for a bit the night before, but none of us thought anything of it ~ because there was just the seven of us in the house ~ and then the next morning she found it down the side of a cupboard, with her money gone.

God, it's such a bad situation. We hate the idea of accusing one of our friends, but it's so dodgy. The money couldn't have fallen out, because loose receipts that had been in the same pocket were still there. It wasn't a €50 note that was gone, but two twenties and two fives. No one could have gotten into the house during the night, because there was no sign of anything, our ipods which had been left out on the table were all untouched, and there are three huge dogs in the house who would have kicked up a fuss at the sign of anyone. We've asked her to make sure of this a thousand times and she definitely didn't spend it or misplace it.
And then the clincher, which makes us feel horrible: at about 3 o clock six of us went down to 24-hour Tesco's for some food, and one of the guys insisted on staying in the house on his own.

The next morning when we discovered the missing money (there was just my two friends and I left at this stage) my friend texted the other four to ask if anyone had taken her fifty euro as a mess and forgotten to give it back. Everyone texted back to say no except the one guy (I'll call him P) who had stayed alone in the house for that half-hour or so. We know he had credit and everything because him and I were texting each other last night about the college course we're going to be on together soon ~ it was only when I told my friend this that she told me he'd never replied to her.

I don't WANT to feel like he did anything ~ it's a horrible feeling, not just to imagine that one of your friends has robbed fifty euro from another, but you feel terrible accusing them in the first place. And the thing is, he's such a lovely, genuine guy. He's always the first to ask if you're ok if you look less than perfect, he's always making sure people are happy and he's a great person to be with. We've only known him and his friend, the other guy there, S, for a little over a year, but we hung out a lot last summer and head to parties with each other every so often.....they're both really great guys and they're FRIENDS. I feel absolutely awful about this and I don't feel as though I can look at him the same way...even though we're starting college together in a couple of weeks.

What can we do?¿ I feel anything is really up to my friend who had the money taken, but I think she wants to drop the subject ~ it's just such a bad thing to accuse someone of. Do any of you have any advice?¿

I'm so sorry this turned out so long, but I felt I had to get all the valid points down.


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Gixxers rock Offline
should now be "VFRs rock"
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
Gixxers rock's Avatar
 
Age: 31
Location: Calgary

Posts: 392
Join Date: January 10th 2009

Re: We think one of our friends stole from us. - August 21st 2009, 06:52 PM

Ask him if he saw a 50 lying around the house. Don't say it was in any bag or purse or anything (nor with an accusing tone), just if he saw it and guage his reaction. If it was him and he wants to come clean, he'll say something along the lines of "yeah I found this lying around and didn't know who's it was". In any case don't accuse him of anything.

Cheers


I am the Stig's brother in law.


Race me on Gran Turismo 5 Prologue! My nickname is patrakoffman-64
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
bitesize Offline
Member since April '07
Outside, huh?
**********
 
bitesize's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Ireland

Posts: 3,944
Blog Entries: 321
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: We think one of our friends stole from us. - August 21st 2009, 07:01 PM

The thing is it wasn't a 50 note...it was two twenties and two fives. We already texted him to ask and we think it might look a bit accusatory if we texted him again three days later...but if he really wanted to come clean he would have by now. We just don't know if we should take it further...or if it's worth it. I just feel like I can't properly be friends with him anymore. xox


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Shannon Offline
The Awesome-ist.
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
Shannon's Avatar
 
Name: Shannon
Gender: Depends on the weather.

Posts: 461
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: We think one of our friends stole from us. - August 24th 2009, 06:24 AM

This is quite an awkward situation to be in, and I'm sorry that you're in it. First off, if he did take it, as you said, he sounds like a really good guy. Sympathize with his situation if he's so hard up for cash that he was so tempted to steal from a friend.

But I think it's pretty clear what happened here. The way I see it, you can ask him straight up--Not as if you all think he, specifically, took it, but as if you were just asking all your friends straight up if they took it, and that if he says he didn't take it, you'll beleive him. Be prepared for his reaction, he may be hurt or annoyed or angry, but just explain that it's because your friend needs the money and that one of the people in the house almost had to have taken it. Good luck to you.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Skeleton Offline
Member
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Skeleton's Avatar
 
Name: Charlie
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: UK.

Posts: 4,545
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: We think one of our friends stole from us. - August 24th 2009, 09:31 AM

I'd ask him straight out even if it seems a little accusing, you could just say that you've asked everyone else, he has yet to reply and you just want to make sure because your friend really needs the money and that you don't mind if he did, as long as you get it back. Look at his reaction and see if anything gives it away but if he says no, there really isn't much you can do because you don't want to push the issue and lose a friend even if it does turn out they did it. You never know, he might come forward in his own time.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
friends, stole

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.