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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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KoKoEm Offline
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Band Camp Drama - August 22nd 2009, 03:53 AM

So band camp was a few weeks ago, but the thing that happened has bugged me to no end.
To give you background on my rooming experiences: I roomed with my best friend sophomore year at band camp and we fought like crazy. We went to Ireland and I roomed with a girl I didn't know very well. Well, she must have hated me from the moment she saw me cause the door was dead-bolted every time I would come back to the room. I kicked the door one of the times and got yelled at by our room mom until she realized that I was locked out for the millionth time. So junior year, band camp... I roomed with another friend of mine. Then... We get to this year.
My best friend and I decided that we were going to for sure room together again, but since we're seniors, we wanted to do a three person room, which works oddly. There will be two people in one room and then the other person will be in the room next door. But they pretty much always come into the other room and sleep in there by moving a mattress into there. So we requested for us and another friend of ours to have a room together.
I was late and by the time I got there, our other friend wasn't rooming with us anymore because... I'm not quite sure what I thought at that time. But my best friend told me it was because she had complained that she didn't get the room alone while my best friend did. This wasn't a problem at all to me, until about Thursday (out of being there Sunday-Friday).
On Thursday after our dance party, my best friend and I were sitting on her bed talking and she told me the second reason that I hadn't known about for our friend not rooming with us. After she complained about not being able to be in the room by herself, she complained that she didn't want to room with me.
Really, I've dealt with some of the worst rooming arrangements ever, and she wants to complain about someone who she acts like is one of her best friends? After that, I got the feeling that I must've done something. I mean, why would you not want to room with someone? The only reason most people wouldn't is if they really really hate the person.
So, pretty much, I want to figure this out. I want to find out why she did that and I'm one of those people who won't go up to someone and say, "Hey, why the **** did you complain about not wanting to room with me at band camp?" I want to be more stealthy about it. But I want to be able to know what I did, or what I do, or what I said (etc) that would make someone who I honestly thought was a pretty good friend, dislike me (or something) enough to not want to room with me for a week. It's hurtful.
Any advice or anything you may have to say, would be helpful. Seriously.
Thankies.


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Re: Band Camp Drama - August 24th 2009, 09:09 PM

This is tricky...
I dont think I have the right advice for this, but here it goes.. hah.
I think, if you can, in the most subtle way, bring up your friendship.. like the next time you talk to her. Ask her if you did something wrong. Hopefully shes honest with you.

Blah, sorry if this didnt really help x] I tried
good luckk!!!


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Re: Band Camp Drama - August 27th 2009, 12:51 AM

I know rooming with people can cause some pretty big problems. Personally I've had to deal with being in the same room with at least two of my brothers for my whole life. Even at camp, I had to share a bunk bed in the same cabin, so I was forced to take the top bunk (I'm afraid of falling off the bed). For me the one thing I've learned from all this time is that I need to pay as little attention to my other roommates as possible, and I need to be assertive about claiming personal space/belongings. It's not going to be the most pleasant experience, but you will have the power to change that if this happens in the future.

Also I think you should talk calmly to your friend about why she decided not to share a room with you. She might have had a good reason, and it's best NOT to jump to conclusions. She's your friend, so she shouldn't have a problem with it right?
   
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Re: Band Camp Drama - August 28th 2009, 11:41 PM

That's the thing... I don't really know if it's a mutual feeling that we (at least) were friends. It's so uncertain and bothers me with that.


This is how it ends
We believe every lie & say we'll still be friends
How long will it last
Before we scratch all the scripts & rework the casts
*Hourglass by the Hush Sound*


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Re: Band Camp Drama - August 29th 2009, 08:56 AM

It seems like me that this gives you an even better reason to talk to her. Don't wait 'til you just 'drift away' from each other. See what she actually thinks. If she doesn't want to remain friends, then she isn't worth the effort, but you'll never really know unless you try to find out.
   
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