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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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zumbaqueen2012 Offline
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The End Of The Road? - August 25th 2009, 08:15 PM

Okay lets go.
Me and my best friend, lets call her P, have been best friends from about the age of 5. Up until a few yrs ago, we did absolutely everything together! We were inseperable.

Then she got a boyfriend, spend every waking moment with him. Cancelled plans with me to spend time with him. When I confronted her, she told me I was just jealous. Anyhow she got pregnant and I seen less and less, if any of her. She now has 3 kids..

Fast forward a few yrs, we're both 21. When I suggest meeting up, she says (this is exactly how it went 2 weeks ago) "Yeah thats a great idea." I ask her "Ok when and where?" She says: "Up to you. Whenever suits you" So I suggest somewhere. She says: "No I'm going to......" I reply; "Right maybe you'd be better suggesting a time and place then." No answer.. 2 weeks later, still no reply from her... (I cant count the amount of times this has happened).

I'm doing my best to stop it from just fading but do you think its time I gave up? And whats the best way to go about it?
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Re: The End Of The Road? - August 25th 2009, 08:29 PM

Hey Mia,

This is a difficult situation. To be honest with you, I'm not the best at ending relationships. And I've been like the person you're describing to be P. I think, that right now it might be time to just let things take their course. You don't really have to tell her that you're wanting to cut contact, but if it's happening naturally - then I don't see a point in really trying to pro-long something you're only trying to keep alive.

It's different if she's trying too. It's different if she at least sometimes confronted you to hang out. But it looks, to me, like this is very much a one sided relationship. Just like dating, any one sided relationship won't last long. Even if it was once equal. You don't want to continue putting yourself through this. You're not just giving up, you put in your best effort - but sometimes you just can't go any further if the other person isn't willing to try too.

I would suggest letting things just fade. I mean, if she isn't trying to contact you it can't be that hard. However, you might want to try talking to her about how you feel? Maybe that can provide closure. This way you both are on the same page in the end. It might even show her what she's losing. But I do think that you should really consider just how much effort you're putting in, and how little you're getting in return. It's unfortunate, but not fair to you. If you need anything, or just someone to talk to - I'm only a PM away. :] Take care.

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Re: The End Of The Road? - August 25th 2009, 08:31 PM

i would just try talking to her. tell her that you value your friendship, and that you really don't want to drift apart anymore. i'm sure that she misses the friendship that you two used to have, and maybe if you talk about it, she will see how important it is to her to stay in touch and hang out with you again like old times.
i'm sorry you two have gotten further apart.
if you ever need to talk to anyone, please feel free to pm me about anything!
good luck, and take care.


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