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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 05:26 PM

This isn't sexual or anything like that, i have just done really bad things over the last few years like been involved with drugs, gangs, everything really. I think it because i never been punished for anything, i want to change, and i think my mum giving me a good spanking might teach me to behave. I know it will probably hurt and stuff, but i know i deserve it. How should i go about asking her? I aren't going to enjoy it or anything, i just want to stop been in trouble all the time.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:07 PM

Wow ... why don't you just apologise to her or something.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:10 PM

At 18, physical punishment is not effective anymore (if it ever was). Your mom is just not that authoritative and scary, and frankly, fear of physical punishment should not even be used to punish bad behavior.. that is like the weakest form of morality you could have.

I think you should questions yourself. Why do you do these behaviors, and are you ashamed of them? Do you think they are wrong? What should you have done, and how will you change yourself and your actions for the better. This is an internal locus of control, and I think it's healthier than believing that other people's actions (your mom spanking you?) will make you fix your ways.

Correcting your own behavior may mean getting treatment, if you feel that you are addicted to drugs or your lifestyle or simply need some sort of direction in life that sometimes you can get from talking to a counselor.


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:20 PM

she is sometimes, shes tried everything else though and i think if i thought i was getting a spanking for doing this stuff, it would make me think twice. no i aren't on drugs, i just like that lifestyle. i know if she punished me properly i might change.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:22 PM

No. If you decided to make that change then you make that change. This has nothing to do with mumsie giving you a spanking because you're 18 and need to take charge of yourself.

Your mom can't spank you for everything you do wrong.. you need to depend on your own self to moderate your actions.


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:24 PM

Hi Miko,

I think that at your age your mother should not be spanking you. What probably needs to happen is that you and her need to have a long talk about what you've been doing and how it will affect your life in the future. That is what is important.
There are ways you can deal with this yourself too. First, just try some control! And try changing yourself. If you do something you shouldn't have, just say you are not going to do something fun (ex. say you will not watch any movies this week or something along those lines). You need to come to realizations yourself, and at eighteen, your mom can't always do that for you.

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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:34 PM

i just think shes tried everything else, nothing worked and if i knew that was going to happen i honestly think it would stop me, obviously this cant be long term, but a few times would do me the world of good i think. i wouldnt know how to ask her though, would be bit awkward just suddenly saying oh by the way will u give me a spanking wouldnt it?
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:37 PM

Are you accepting that the only way to make you a better person is by scaring you with physical punishment? Because if that is the case, you need to go get treatment because you cannot function in society if the only thing you think can moderate your behavior is spanking by your mother.

I guess the best way to ask would be just to ask, but frankly, it's a short term ineffective and needy method. Why don't you learn to take care of yourself since your 18.. or consider asking your mom to get you counseling? I seriously think that would be a better option....


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:40 PM

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Originally Posted by St.Vincent View Post
Are you accepting that the only way to make you a better person is by scaring you with physical punishment? Because if that is the case, you need to go get treatment because you cannot function in society if the only thing you think can moderate your behavior is spanking by your mother.

I guess the best way to ask would be just to ask, but frankly, it's a short term ineffective and needy method. Why don't you learn to take care of yourself since your 18.. or consider asking your mom to get you counseling? I seriously think that would be a better option....
No, i just think it would teach me a lesson, i wouldnt want it regularly, it would just make me behave because i know what would happen if i didn't. wouldn't want it hurt though lol.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 06:55 PM

Hey. I have to say, I agree with everyone else. At 18, you're considered an adult. Adults shouldn't be receiving spankings from their mothers. No matter what you did to deserve it. Learning to deal with your own problems, past and present, is a skill we all need to acquire one way or another. Allowing your mom to teach you right from wrong through means of a spanking, isn't benefiting you at all. It's merely allowing you to be dependent on your mom in a world where you should really be starting to be more independent.


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:08 PM

i totally understand what your saying, and it might not work, but i just think i need it a few times. it isn't really about been independent, because i am really independent, i just think i need some proper discipline. all this grounding and stuff doesnt work, its not the same as getting your bottom smacked. a spanking will hurt, be quite humiliating, and make me feel like a little kid, that is something i wont want happening again, this is why i think its the ideal punishment. she threatened me with her belt before, but never actually done it. next time she does should i just say fine its probably what i deserve?
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:12 PM

Obviously if you want her to spank or whip you, you tell her that but the fact that you're asking for it will dampen the "effect" somewhat. Honestly, I would look into other options because it's your responsibility to take care of yourself and your behavior.. not your mother's.


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:17 PM

i know i want her to do it when she chooses. i don't want it be on my terms, its meant to be a punishment, she should be deciding everything that happens shouldnt she?i dont want her to whip me lol, i was honestly quite scared when she threatened take her belt off.i am bit worried it will hurt as well, ideally id want her spank me until i felt id had enough, but it doesnt really work like that does it lol.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:35 PM

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i am bit worried it will hurt as well, ideally id want her spank me until i felt id had enough, but it doesnt really work like that does it lol.
Quite frankly, I think you need to have a mature concept of punishment and reinforcement. You can't make someone punish you, it doesn't work like that. If you want to stop doing an undesirable behavior, the choice to stop has to have from you. You have to say to yourself that you are going to take the appropriate steps. You do not defer to your mother and beg that she physically punish you.

You have to choose to stop. You are an adult and you cannot shift the responsibility of punishing bad behavior to other people because it is YOUR JOB. There is a reason why adults don't spank their grown children. It doesn't work..

I feel like I am repeating myself, though. If you want to be spanked, say so.. but do not close your mind to change that comes from you.


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:43 PM

i suppose i do a bit, just not in a sexual way, i just think i need it thats all. i might just have to come straight out with it, but i arent going to beg her to punish me. i know if she does though it will be the belt and i dont want to be punished that thoroughly lol.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:44 PM

Also, know that your mother could get in trouble if she does do this. That is not fair for her. It would be considered assault.
There are other ways to deal with you doing things you shouldn't.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:53 PM

yeah but i wouldn't say anything, how would it be classed as assault?a spanking would just be classed as discipline wouldnt it?
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 07:59 PM

I'm not sure where you live, so I was just relating it to how the law in my country (Canada) would classify it. From what I understand, it is not acceptable to belt a child at any time. This especially goes for someone your age. You are old enough to take care of and deal with yourself and since you are almost an adult, it is not your mom's job to discipline you anymore.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 21st 2009, 08:08 PM

yes i know that, but if i have asked her to spank me and she chooses to do it with a belt, then its my own fault. i know she shouldnt have to punish me, but she never has done and i think if she had i might not have done some of that stuff. she used to ground me, take stuff off me, everything but it didnt bother me, if she would have whacked my backside with a belt until i was sorry, i am sure it would have made me behave and not do these things i am now. i just think it isnt too late and she has even said your not too old be spanked.imagine if she did give me a really good belting, and i decided i never want that again and changed because i was scared of it happening again, id be much better off.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 23rd 2009, 12:30 PM

Its not a discipline if your asking for it. To be honest I think she might think its a bit weird too. if she's never done it before, she's not going to start at 18. Your an adult now and its not up to your mother to punish you, you need to make these changes yourself. You already know you want to change, so just do it and don't rely on your mum
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 23rd 2009, 06:35 PM

she spanked me last night, she threatened take her belt off but did it this time. it hurt so much especially as she did it bare bottom, but i feel much better and am so glad she did it.get reminded i need to behave everytime i sit down now lol.i want it to be a regular thing now, its the best punishment you can get, should i just ask her if she will belt me whenever i think i need it?want one now thinking about it lol.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 23rd 2009, 07:09 PM

I agree-- it's not your mom's responsibility anymore-- you seem to know when you're behaving badly-- so be responsible and don't do it.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 23rd 2009, 07:27 PM

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I agree-- it's not your mom's responsibility anymore-- you seem to know when you're behaving badly-- so be responsible and don't do it.
yeah i know but i got it once and she did it so hard, its made me realise im scared of been belted.it made me really sorry and my bottom was so sore from her belt.i want it again not because i like it or anything, i just like knowing iv been disciplined for what iv done, i know she might think it is weird but i think i need it on a regular basis.i certianly dont enjoy it while i am been whipped by the way, it just feels good after. i like the fact its not like her not speaking to me, or taking something from me, i get a good spanking, and then shes fine with me and its back to normal, plus i remember it because i feel it for a good while after. its not abuse either because i understand why she does it and i dont think its unreasonable.i hope i get it regular but i dont know if she will.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 23rd 2009, 09:07 PM

Punishment has to be something that you DON'T want, otherwise it's not really punishment. If you want something and you get it, it's more like a reward than a punishment, yes? You're much too old and grown up for your mother to spank you. You realize that you've done things that you shouldn't have, so now all you have to do is change it around and not do those things anymore and be done with it. You're an adult and it's not your mother's place to punish you anymore. You're grown up and an adult. You don't need to be taught a lesson. And since you want the spanking, it wouldn't even be a lesson taught to you. You'd just be getting what you wanted and, therefore, it wouldn't even be a punishment.


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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 24th 2009, 03:36 AM

Ignoring all the sexual connations involved with your mother spanking you, go and disciple yourself. First, you're an adult, and your mother or someone else shouldn't be around you to disciple you. Second, you claim that all other methods of discipline have been tried and they didn't work, yet somehow spanking is? Third, a punishment has to be something that you don't want.

Question yourself as to why you want the spanking. Don't go to the idea of "everything else failed". You claim to be very independent, but if you were, and if you were a part of a gang, you wouldn't be going to your mother asking for a spanking in a nonsexual way. I'm thinking there's something behind the scenes either you know but aren't telling us (which means we could go about and possibly figure it out but would need more and more information) OR you don't know/realize it.

Consider seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist.
   
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Re: asking mum to give me a spanking - January 25th 2009, 02:05 PM

[.

Well i had it now, i didnt really enjoy it but i wasnt exactly begging her to stop be honest. it aint really sexual i dont think, and it really hurt, i dont know, tell you truth though i dont think i enjoy it as such but i kinda like the feel of it when shes finished and i know iv bin properly disciplined, i no that sounds bad and i dont know why its like that for me.
   
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