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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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I feel like I'm worthless - September 5th 2009, 11:38 PM

I'm starting to really hate myself. My dad is constantly saying that I never do anything around the house, which is completely untrue, but I'm starting to believe it. He is always yelling at me, my mom, and my brothers and he never tries to handle a situation calmly and never tries to understand the other person's point of view because in his mind he's the one who's right, and there's no changing that. My dad is always saying I need to get a job or I need to help out around here because I never do much. And he's always complaining and sayign things like "Ohh I'm so poor because I have to pay to feed you kids and I didn't even want you."

And my mom isn't doing crap about this. Whenever I say something to him and point out how he's wrong and he tries to belittle me, my mom just sits quietly and does her fricking cooking or cleaning like an obedient little housewife. But when he's not around, she's always complaining about him!

I am so lost at this point and I don't know what to do and I feel worthless and trapped. Help me please.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm worthless - September 6th 2009, 02:21 AM

I'm sorry that you're dealing with this. Unfortunately, a lot of people are dealing with t he same kind of situation. It's certainly not uncommon. Your father sounds like a pretty intimidating person, which may be why your mother doesn't want to get involved or argue against him. It's unfortunate that more and more wives are becoming afraid of their husbands.

Have you ever spoken to anybody about this, outside of your family? Perhaps you can consider reaching out to a teacher or guidance counselor at school. Explain the situation and talk about the way you feel with regards to this. Something isn't right with your father and it will take a professional to get to the bottom of it, which won't be an easy thing to do.

People do things for a reason. Perhaps he's dealing with something not so pleasant and expresses those bottled-up those feelings with anger. There has to be something going on with him. Do you think your father would consider some kind of family counseling? I don't know how your father would react to that but if you think it's worth a try, go for it.

I think you need to reach out to somebody and talk to them about what's going on at home. Clearly, things aren't right at home. Talk to somebody that you trust - a neighbour, a relative, a teacher, a guidance counselor, a friend's parent, etc. Talk to somebody because this certainly is a lot for you to deal with on your own.

Good luck.


SUP BRO.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm worthless - September 6th 2009, 02:38 AM

I'm going to college and there really isn't someone there for me to talk to because I haven't been able to get to know anybody there. Plus, my mom is in my classes too.

I've spoken to a few friends about it and one of them is going to try and tell a counselor at my old high school about it.

The only thing I can think of at the moment which would be making him act worse than usual is that he's been unemployed for a few months now, but he's always kind of been like this. But he's going to be working again in a few days and he just got accepted into some sort of university... :\

And I know that my dad isn't willing to accept help from anyone. He just isn't. Because, as I stated, he feels that he is right and he also feels that he knows more than any doctor or anyone else. One time I had been taken to some sort of psychologist or counselor because I guess I had something wrong with me, but my dad did more of the talking than I did, and the person was coming to the conclusion that he was a bad dad and needed help, but my dad wasn't willing to listen. And this was YEARS ago, about 7 years now.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm worthless - September 6th 2009, 02:41 AM

Your father seems to have a very controlling personality; some people are like that. I would encourage you, however, to reach out to somebody at college. There's bound to be counseling services that are available to students. Even if you don't directly deal with your family, simply talking to somebody about the way you're feeling could make the world of a difference - especially if there is no way, right now, that your father will change.


SUP BRO.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm worthless - September 6th 2009, 02:44 AM

Ok. I will try that and see what happens. Thank you for the suggestions.
   
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