Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Nina Twin Offline
So It Goes
Average Joe
Nina Twin's Avatar
Name: Marlie Elizabeth
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Idaho

Posts: 199
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Exclamation The Biggest Mistake of Her Life? - September 6th 2009, 07:12 AM

My best friend in the world is Charlynn. We have been friends for about 6 or 7 years now and we tell each other everything. We are honest with each other, we have keys to each others houses - we do just about everything together and we don't hide anything from each other.
We are both 19; we attend a community college in our home town. I know where I want to transfer to after I get my A.S. - a state college about 100 miles away. It's practical, it's a good school and I can afford it. I've known this for quite some time. She, however, has been uncertain about her major and her transfer institution for quite some time. Then she got a boyfriend.
Her boyfriend goes to college in Wisconsin, which is extremely far away from our little town in Idaho. He lives in our town, but... well, he's away for most of the year in college anyway.
This is the problem: all of a sudden, Charlynn wants to follow her boyfriend all the way to Wisconsin to go to college. She stated, "I haven't really looked into what college is good for me there. My main priority is to be near him."
RED FLAGS!!! A million things are going through my mind right now. She is throwing her future away. She doesn't even CARE about what college is good for her. The only thing she's doing is looking at those that are within 100 feet of the boy. Logically, she can't afford the school. She gets ZERO financial aid and, though I love the girl, doesn't have the grades to get any scholarships. The tuition is $25,000 a year for one school she's looking at, and plane tickets range from about $400-$1,000 to get back and fourth between college and home. Not to mention she's planning on moving into an apartment with him - they haven't even looked into anything yet (she wants to go there next fall) and Charlynn doesn't even have a job right now. Probably not even $100 in the bank. Not even looking for a job. And what if they should break up? She would be all the way across the country, completely alone, and she would have changed her WHOLE life to be near him.
They are a pretty serious couple. They each lost their virginity to each other and they have been dating for six months. Although they have only spent about 3 months total face-to-face (they started dating while he was away), they still have promise rings and the whole deal. I don't doubt that it's a pretty strong relationship.
Things happen, though. Life happens. I feel like my best friend is making the BIGGEST mistake of her life -- or at least she wants to. I don't know what to do, though. Is it my place, as her best friend, to speak my mind and try to protect her and be honest? Or is it my place to just let her make her own mistakes?
Oh, boy. Please help me out, here.
  Send a message via MSN to Nina Twin  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Angel Offline
The final horcrux
I've been here a while
Angel's Avatar
Gender: Female
Location: Slytherin Common Room

Posts: 1,402
Blog Entries: 66
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: The Biggest Mistake of Her Life? - September 6th 2009, 07:18 AM

She may be going into this a bit short-sightedly, but who are we to say if this is the biggest mistake she could be making? You shoud sit her down and talk to her honestly. Tell her that you are worried she hasn't thought her plan all the way through, and suggest that you strongly feel as though she should have a back-up plan in case something does happen, just so that she is not going into this blindly. You only want what is best for your friend, hopefully she be understanding. :)

"Years ago, I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices."

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
forfrosne Offline
I am immortal. So far so good.
I can't get enough
forfrosne's Avatar
Name: Matthew
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: England

Posts: 3,311
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: August 29th 2009

Re: The Biggest Mistake of Her Life? - September 6th 2009, 10:42 AM

Yeah, she's being very short-sighted on this.
You need to make her realise that even if she wants to go the same college as him, she can't afford it.
She needs to find a good college she can get into that is near to both of you.
Keep trying to talk to her!
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Skeleton Offline
Outside, huh?
Skeleton's Avatar
Name: Charlie
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: UK.

Posts: 4,545
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: The Biggest Mistake of Her Life? - September 6th 2009, 10:51 AM

I agree. As her best friend, you should talk to her about it because you're worried that she isn't looking at it properly and you don't want it to fall through. You can't tell her what to do, you need to let her make her own decisions and learn from her own mistakes but you can still help her try and make sure that she doesn't go into it all without really thinking about it and so on because at the moment, she's probably only thinking of attending college near her boyfriend, not the money or the grades or anything else and she needs to think of that as well in case things do fall through.
Closed Thread


best friend, biggest, boyfriend, college, life, mistake

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.