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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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My mother's finally leaving him - September 13th 2009, 08:18 PM

I've had issues with my "father" since we moved in with him; almost 11 years ago. I finally dropped the ruse of respect I had for him, and things went to hell quickly. I now hate to even have to see him, and he yells about me constantly. Last night, he was bitching about how I asked if a friend could sleep over. Now, keep in mind that this friend hadn't been over to my house since May 25th. He yelled at me because I've had "people over here the past 5 weeks." The first name he mentioned was that of my friend I hadn't really talked to since May. I'm glad I have a basic respect level for everyone, otherwise I would've blew up at him there and then. Then, later, he yelled at me for the same thing (the first time, I was listening above him yell at my mother) and I just responded with "I heard you the first time". Not in a smartass tone, mind you. He yelled at me for being a smartass. Then, this morning, my friend was woken up by him, yelling about how I never do anything around the house. It's not that I don't do anything, it's that I never get asked to do anything. According to him, it was quite loud and quite swear-filled. My friend left about an hour ago, and after that, my mother came in and sat me down to have a talk. She's looking for apartments. She's leaving him. She's finally fed up after 11 years. She admitted that it's going to be hard to start fresh, but she can't take it. I asked her to give him an ultimatum, make him change or threaten him with leaving first. She doesn't even think he'll ever change. Something I've been saying for 6 years now.

She wanted my opinion, and I just gave her the generic "go for it" response.


Truth is, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I mean, I've secretly wanted it for a long time, but I never directly said it, or hinted at it. I think I'm happy, but I don't know. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not sure what to feel.
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Re: My mother's finally leaving him - September 13th 2009, 09:45 PM

think of this as a good thing, you don't deserve to be treated like this. and neither does your mother. i say, let her leave, and go with her. if your dad is going to treat you like this, he doesn't deserve to have you.
   
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Re: My mother's finally leaving him - September 13th 2009, 10:06 PM

Hey Colton,

I think when we dream and wish and hope for something to happen and it takes a long time for what we hoped for it's almost like a shock that it's finally happening. I think your mum's choice to leave your dad is a good one.
Your mum has obviously thought long and hard about this choice so I'm sure it's going to be the right one for both of you. It doesn't stop you having a relationship with your father and it could make your relationship better for having time apart from him and both having your own breathing space.
Just make sure things are going okay for your mum, it's going to be a big adjustment for the two of you but it could be something really amazing for you both aswell. You'll be able to have friends round more often and not have to worry about being shouted and screamed at.
Pm me if you ever need to talk, Paige x
   
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Re: My mother's finally leaving him - September 15th 2009, 01:58 AM

I suppose I should have waited longer than 10 minutes after hearing about this to post about it, .

I'm actually perfectly fine with it. We're starting to look for apartments and houses to rent, and I'm happier than what I've been in a long time. It just took a while for the shock to kick in.
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