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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Jessielove Offline
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Name: Jessie
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Streamwood, IL

Posts: 147
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Close friend over best friend. (Longer) - September 21st 2009, 07:50 AM

I've known my best friend for over a year now, we'll call him A. I've known my close friend, we'll call him C, for about two to four years now. We went to the same home school group, but he was always with the guys and I was always with the girls. So, we never talked, we did like once and found we liked some of the same bands.

Anyways, he added me on facebook and asked me to go bowling with him, some friends, and his girlfriend. I went, we didn't see each other for a little after that till him and his girlfriend were forced to break up by their parents and he found out she was cheating on him. So, we became close and hang out like every Friday. We hung out this past Friday and I was in this super awesome mood when I got home. I have some much in common with him, so it's nice. Plus, I kind of have a crush on him.

So, that night my best friend texted me and I tried to get him to talk about us. Like, he lead me on again, but he says it's because he doesn't want to ruin our friendship...which he already did, and he's not good enough for me. I think both are stupid because I love him to death no matter what. Plus, he's the one always telling me to ask every risk in life, try new things, but he won't on one thing I really want him to do. He wouldn't really talk about it, which upset me, because I want to know what's going on between us and when I try to get him to talk about it, he won't.

I tried to text him Saturday night. I asked him if he could talk and he said no, he was too tired. He said he was sorry, and I said I was use to this with him. He use to always say he'd always be there when I needed him and I needed him last night. I ended up getting really upset about it. So, I texted C and he made me feel way better. He also got me to agree to walk away from my friendship or kind of back away a little, with A because of everything A's done to me. C said, "This is gonna end up with you hurting and/or dead."

I don't want to walk away from A, but I know C's right. A's put me through so much crap, he's broken me down way more then he should and since he started college, he seems to find reasons not to talk to me. Here's the thing, C's only 17, he's in college, and works six hours every day. A just goes to college and nothing else. He'd rather be playing Wii with his new friends, then talking to someone he claims is his best friend. I love A, I am in love with him and I wanna be with him, but like I said, he'll never talk about it since he said he doesn't think he's good enough and doesn't want to ruin the friendship. C said, A's a manwhore and he just wants sex from me.
Truth be told, he tried to get me to have sex when I went to his dorm and I said no, the day I left...was the day he seemed to change his mind about not wanting to be with me. When I was at his dorm, he was all over me and we'd talked a lot about getting together before that. My sister says, he seems to want to be with me when I'm around him, but when I'm away...he doesn't.

I don't want to lose A, but I really don't want to lose C. I'm always gonna hope that A will one day change his mind and try to date me, but I know it won't happen without me getting hurt and I know C's trying to protect me, but I've been close with A since day one. I'm just not sure I can walk away or even back away just a little from my friendship with A.

And to add to it all, I think C may life me since when we hung out last he asked about me getting over A and I said I've been trying forever and been willing to date forever. And he yelled at fuck right after I said it. He then said he just randomly wanted to do that.


When you fall, don't always expect someone to pick you up. Do it yourself, you're stronger then you think. Brush yourself off and keep your head high.

"She loves me, she loves me not, despite the fact I smell like pot, I write this poem to you Jessie, are you my lady love to be?" -
sphynx


Last edited by Jessielove; September 21st 2009 at 08:15 AM.
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