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Why won't they just divorce?! - September 25th 2009, 08:51 PM

My dad treats my mom like COMPLETE crap, and she knows it and she HATEEEES it, and she always talks to me about it, but I can't offer any advice to her, because she'll be mad and yell at me, and it drives me CRAZYYYYY and like I feel like they should just finally divorce(they got seperated once and half divorced once) and now they're fighting more often then usual and my dad always yells at her and blames everything on her, and I feel terrible and it makes me resent my dad and it's starting to make me hate talking to my mom, because I feel like I'll blurt out how I feel! And I just needed to rant! Sorry.
   
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Re: Why won't they just divorce?! - September 26th 2009, 03:30 PM

Hey Megan,

You don't need to apologize for needing to rant! It sounds like you are in a really frustrating situation right now, and it is perfectly understandable that you need to get out your feelings this way.

I think that your parents are putting a lot of emotional stress on your shoulders right now by fighting the way they are. It sounds like you are also the 'go to' person for your mom when she needs to vent and rant a bit too. I know you are worried about your mom getting mad at you when you tell her how you feel, but I think it is very important that she know.

Try to find a time when your mom is a bit more calm- like when her and your dad are not fighting- and take her out for a walk or get out for a bit. Tell her that you just want to be honest with her and that you are worried about her relationship with your dad. Let her know that you can tell that she is really stressed and you just want what is best for everyone. Ask her if she has reconsidered divorce and if it is something she might think about going through with again.

Another thing to think about is why your parents didn't go through with the divorce last time. Is it because of a financial situation? Separation disagreements? Or did they think it was best for you? Try to work these things out when you talk to your mom, and maybe suggest to her that separation will be better for everyone in the end.

Overall, it is your parents' decision on whether or not they separate, but it would be a good idea to communicate your feelings to them and let them know how all of their fighting is affecting you.

Stay strong and take care.

Nat.


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Re: Why won't they just divorce?! - September 26th 2009, 03:33 PM

Hi there Megan,

I'm glad that you were able to rant and let your feelings out.

It sounds like your parents are having problems and then you want to see them happier, and in your eyes, this would be a divorce. I think that you need to sit down with both of them and tell them how you feel. Ask them to not fight in front of you and to please leave you out of this. Next time you mom comes to you for advice, maybe you should recommend that she see a counselor for advice and help because they would be able to help her better. It might be better to do this in a public place, that way they don't yell at you.

Remember that it is their job to do what is best for you and it isn't fair that you are caught in the middle of this. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me anytime! I hope all works out for the better.
   
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