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Friends and Family Everyone has disagreements, even best friends and family. If you need advice about a relationship, ask us here.

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Faye. Offline
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ARGH! - January 23rd 2009, 02:14 PM

Hey, Sorry a couple of longish rants that don't really make sense

My friend is annoying me so much! Everything is always about her, whenever I try to talk about me or something I'm doing she's either doing it as well or has already done it ten times better. And I can't do things with other people, she makes me feel so guilty about it. I once tried to go into town with some other friends and I invited her along but halfway through she just walked away and when I caught up with her she said she felt so left out, fair enough I guess but it's not my fault, I was talking to her and trying to make her feel 'included' but she just didn't try to respond to my efforts. She can make me feel guilty so easily all she has to say is something like 'Your my only friend' and I know I'll have to pay all my attention to her. She has a few anxiety and confidence issues and it feels like she uses them to make me feel I need to be around her 100% of the time but at the same time I'm not sure she really knows how much power it actually has over me.
It's not like, she's all bad some of the time she can be a fun person to be with just some of the things she does are just..argh!

And my family is driving me crazy as well. I just want them all to go away, they go on and on and on, and it's like no, I don't want to talk, I don't want a hug , I just want you to shut up and leave me alone.
Grr...
I know that seems so harsh, but my family's constant need to know about every part of my life is irritating. I think it's partly my fault but can't they just go away.
Sometimes I feel they put so much pressure on me (though then they deny it and say they're happy if I'm happy and it's just me putting pressure on myself ) I know if I my grades aren't straight A's all they're gonna do is ignore the A's I do get and focus on the B's.



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We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think its forever
-Carl Sagan




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MadPoet Offline
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Re: ARGH! - January 23rd 2009, 04:16 PM

Hey Faye. I had, and still have, a friend like yours. When I try to talk to her she completely turns the subject around so that it involves her. ex: 'I self harmed' 'Oh, I've done that so many times.' And yeah, it's a pretty annoying thing. Maybe you should try talking to her about it, if you feel like she's a friend you could actually approach with something like that. It might help a little bit, if she's willing to listen to you. I'm sure she doesn't intentionally mean to do that, she might not really notice that she does. As for her feeling left out all the time, maybe try to understand why she feels that way. I know that a lot of times for different people they feel like people just don't like them, and as a result they feel like no one's paying attention to them or wanting them around. I guess that the only thing you can really do is keep assuring her that you'll never leave her out and you enjoy talking to her. And about your family, I know that can get annoying, but your family only does things like that because they care about you. Sometimes it's a family's annoying way of showing that you matter to them. And even though it is annoying, it's kind of just something that family's always do. If it really bothers you, then you could maybe tell them that you need a bit more space sometimes.

Good luck





A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts


   
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Re: ARGH! - January 24th 2009, 11:57 AM

Hi there Faye,

I think that no matter how this friend of yours is acting, you should still be able to hang out and be friends with other people. I think that inviting her and including her is a good idea, and I'm sure she'll get used to hanging out in a group after a while.
Do you think that you could talk to one of your other friends about the things that are bothering you? It might help to confide in someone else. To confide in your other friend, just tell her that you really need someone to talk to about one of your problems. Just let her know that you need someone to listen to you right now.

It sounds like your family, no matter how annoying, cares a lot about you. It's good to have some alone time, but you should also make sure you spend some time with them as well. Just tell them straight out that you would like to be alone for a while and say you could talk later. You don't need to ignore them to get them to leave you alone. As for the grades, I've had similar experiences with my parents. Basically what I try to do is tell them about the good marks I got and then say you'll work harder on the others. But you know what? Bs are not bad marks. You should be proud of how you are doing. It's difficult not to put pressure on yourself, but just try to keep in mind that you did your best and that grades change all the time (and they are easy to change back!).

If you ever want to talk, feel free to send me a PM any time.

Nat.
   
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Faye. Offline
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Re: ARGH! - January 24th 2009, 12:45 PM

Thank for the replies guys


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